Scattered thoughts

Got to Mayday for the hastily arranged ENT appointment about half an hour early and were seen immediately by the doctor. I can't say I was overly impressed with his bedside manner, though it improved some way into the appointment where we reached a mutual understanding. A little more on that further in.

To start with the doctor was very brisk, and wanted to know mum's history with this problem starting from the beginning which upset and frustrated her, so I'm not sure he got a complete picture. Then without any prep time at all went to stick a camera up her nose to see what was going on up there, which completely understandably completely upset mum. She started to cry and said that she hadn't expected that - which was fair as we were just told to be there, no details more than that - and the doctor got kind of frustrated and said that he'd only been handed the case the evening before and had squeezed us into his clinic as a favour to the Neurologist that mum had seen before and was seeing lots more patients in clinic today than he had timeslots for. I guess that explains why we got seen as soon as we got there rather than at a specific time. After we understood he was rushed and he understood mum was scared and uninformed about what the appointment would involve he became much better bedside manner wise. It's a shame it took tears and stuff to get to that point.

He had a go at getting the camera up mum's left nostril, but it didn't go very far as he kept hitting something which I believe was the tumour (he got mum to have a go at blowing her nose, but the blockage didn't move at all), and the attempt looked like it hurt an awful lot (judging by the way mum gripped my hand). It went fine up the right nostril, and appeared to hurt mum much less.

He appeared rather concerned and disappeared for a bit to arrange some things, and then came back to his office to make calls to further arrange things while we were in there. It amused me to hear him sweet talking nurses in much the same way I sweet talk people when I need something.

Anyway, he'd thought that the tumour needed biopsying asap and managed to squeeze mum into his Monday morning list for a biopsy under a general anaesthetic. The rest of the time at the hospital involved heading to the day surgery ward to get pre-admitted and see an anaesthetist (though not the one who'll be doing mum tomorrow) to be checked anaesthetic wise. Was informed that the major risk is that it doesn't stop bleeding after the biopsy is taken and if that happens her nose (through which the biopsy is being taken) will be packed and she'll be sent from Mayday (in Croydon, where all the appointments so far have been, and where the biopsy will be done tomorrow) to St Georges (in Tooting) to be admitted. Really hope that won't happen, but am pondering putting a bag of jammies and washing supplies in the car tomorrow morning just in case, in the hope being prepared will ward off problems.

The follow up to the biopsy will be at St Georges, where the doctor is actually based. He told us how to get there by public transport as he explained that the parking situation (and traffic on the way) is pretty bad, even for him. It was good of him to explain the transport options but I really don't think that mum is up to public transport at the moment. She had a turn while at Mayday on Friday and needed a wheelchair to get her out to the car again. Managed to sort out alternative arrangements that don't involve public transport, thankfully. My auntie and uncle live very very close (a mile or so) to St Georges, and my auntie has worked there (and still volunteers there) so we'll be parking the car at their house and my uncle will drop us off and pick us up, avoiding, hopefully, the parking problems at the hospital without exhausting mum.

All told, it looks like we'll know by Thursday afternoon what the tumour is and some sort of prognosis. The doctor on Friday didn't tell us at all about the MRI and what it showed, though I know he had the report in mum's file, but I know that between inital diagnosis of the tumour and now she is much much worse. Her left eye is completely non-functional, the huge nosebleeds every couple of weeks have evolved into a continuous drip/dribble of blood, she's almost deaf in her left ear and eating has become more of a challenge. Almost the entirety of the left hand side of her face is numb and tingly now, and the nausea and vomiting is worse. The anaesthetist we saw on Friday suggested mum start taking the anti sick pills at night as a matter of course to hopefully ward off the worst of it.

Off to Coulsdon again soon. We have to be at the hospital for 7:30 am tomorrow, which is quite unholy. I decided I'd rather sleep at mum's and get up early than sleep here and get up in what is essentially the middle of the night and drive there then. I think tomorrow will be quite long enough without starting at 4am. All the same, leaving here for Coulsdon is getting harder each week, though I'm not sure whether it's because I'm eating into my mood/spoons reserves each time I spend a week there, or because the situation is getting harder in itself.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered

I got a call recently from a family friend, John Morris. He was the only mormon who ever really kept touch with our family after daddy died and over the years he took me and Phil to lots of Charlton games (including the memorable 1998 playoff final at Wembley) because they were the team he supported and it was something he could do for us. As a result I became practically the only child in Croydon to support Charlton. Most of my schoolmates supported Crystal Palace. Oh the stick I got for it!

Anyway, I hadn't been to a game in years when John called and asked if I would want to go to a game if he could arrange it. I replied in the affirmative and he got tickets for him, me and Phil to see Charlton at home against Palace on 8^th February. I made arrangements accordingly - to stay with kimble and barakta at their place near Stratford so I could tube and bus it to Charlton.

Found my way to where I was staying relatively easily - ben has turned his free (from a competition) Nokia N770 into a tomtom like GPS toy, so it guided me once I was away from my familar territory of the Blackwall Tunnel (I can get to that easily - from there though I get lost unless I'm going to Telehouse at East India Docks).

I was made very welcome by kimble and shown all the shiny flashy lights and scrolly signs that they have set up. Some of the things would be so helpful in our hearing household as well as their are in their deaf one - a flashy light when a reminder comes up so I wouldn't miss it if I were afk would be amazing. I took down notes of which tubes and busses I needed to get to where I wanted to go and headed out.

Made it to North Greenwich Tube Station ok, and boarded the bus I needed for Charlton in plenty of time - there was an hour to go until Kick Off. Unfortunately, it was rush hour and I ended up in the middle of a crowd away from any windows being squished and I missed my stop. Being unfamiliar with the area, and unable to see anything because of aforementioned squish I didn't realise until the bus thinned out a good half hour later. In the end, I had to ride the bus to the end of the route and then come back on the same one. I had ben tell me where to get off (he was following my route on a bus map because I'd called him in tears and unable to cope) but the driver failed to stop at the right stop and I ended up going one too far. *sigh* Eventually made it into the ground as the half time whistle blew. Phil and John were utterly amazing and lovely and had waited for me outside even though it meant they missed the first half too.

Second half was brilliant. I'd been lucky and not missed any goals. The final score was 2-0 to Charlton and both goals were scored in the second half when I was there to see. Hurrah! I enjoyed myself very much and so John is going to see about taking Phil and I to another game in two or three months.

Going back, John and Phil escorted me to to North Greenwich incase I got lost again (or attacked, which I think at least was John's overriding concern), and made it back to Stratford where barakta met me to make sure I got off at the right stop for their place. Just as well - the crush on that bendy bus was as bad as the double decker earlier and I wouldn't have had a clue if she hadn't been there and would probably have ended up in Ilford!

I was taken back and fed curry and felt much more human. Then we talked and spodded until very late (I can't remember when I last went to bed that late). It was lovely and so were they :D

Coming back on Saturday was much easier than going (though I almost got my windscreen cleaned at traffic lights) and stopped at Bluewater for Krispy Kreme donuts to bring home and also had lunch. Unfortuantely, I also had a Lush shaped accident (the accident looked like this, this and this), but concluded due to general business and lack of parking (there were places being used as parking spaces that I didn't know could accomodate a car) that I am never venturing to Bluewater again on a Saturday unless it is a matter of life or death. Even then, it will depend on whose life is in danger...

Despite the fact that Kimble and Barakta had been lovely, what I saw of the football had been good, and I'd got some nice things in Bluewater, I was more relieved than I can express to get home again.

In conclusion, some notes on London Transport.
1) Busses at rush hour are horrible. Especially if you're short.
2) My foot is not the same as a brake. You have them on your child's buggy, please use them. My foot does not appreciate the fact that you apparently failed to notice the difference.
3) Bendy busses are the spawn of satan and must be stopped. I didn't know it was possible for a bus to be so crowded. It was more like a tube train than a bus (and busses jerk around way way more :S).
4) Driving may be expensive and complicated in London but I think I would rather drive in future than be half crushed and killed on a bus.

This is the cause of me spending 45 mins on a bus from the bus station to campus* yesterday evening. It certainly puts my massive delay in perspective.

I'd feel bad about stressing about my delay if it hadn't nearly induced a full fledged hyperventalating throwing up panic attack. Anyway, like I said, puts things in perspective. Ta to benc for talking to me for 20 mins on a phone to stop me from doing such things.

Clearly busses don't love me very much. Took me 40 mins to get to town from campus this morning including 10 mins completely stationary on Whitstable Road. Also had to wait an extra 15 mins today when lightly loaded unibus drove straight past me at the Westgate bus stop without stopping. Weird. Wish I could afford to park in town. Busses are clearly Teh Sucks.

Got wet earlier from being outside in rain. Socks and jeans still wet.

Cold now.

Makes a change from too hot I guess ;)

*and triggering