lizziec | For those on my friendslist who were comparing POTC2 to ESB...

To those of you on my flist who were comparing POTC2/3 and ESB/ROTJ and their characters (I'm looking at you,

lisaofdoom, right now), my favourite movie mag, Empire has produced just such a feature in this months issue.

Here is is, reproduced by my own fair hands.

If Pirates 2 was the Empire Strikes Back of the trilogy (love triangle, father issues, erm, sword fights), that would make part three At World's End, Return of the Jedi. Based on plot points Empire has learned about the film, this - shoehorned into a familiar series - is how Pirates 3 should all pan out. Warning: Here be (possible) spoilers (and Ewoks)

Will and Elizabeth = Luke and Leia
Their relationship hits the rocks as they discover there are obstacles they might not be able to overcome, hopefully not their being related. Elizabeth will ditch the tomboy look and possibly be kidnapped again; Will will be stuck with Barbossa.

Sao Feng = Jabba the Hutt
A villainous pirate king played by Chow Yun-Fat. Lives in a mouldy bathhouse. A huge chase scene takes place in and around his Singapore home.

Lord Beckett = The Emperor
Now in posession of Davy Jones' heart, Beckett will be looking to bring the pirating world to an end. Has severe angry-small-man syndrome.

Davy Jones = Darth Vader
Villain he may be, but Pirates 3 will explore Squidface's backstory, showing how love drive him to villainy. A last reel redemption is looking likely.

Captain Jack = Han Solo
Post-rescue will largely be stuck with Davy Jones. Ventures forthe literal world's end for one of the film's biggest sequences. Okay, not like Jedi at all.

Norrington = Lando Calrissian
Betrayer at the end of Dead Man's Chest, you can bet your pieces of eight he's going to come good before the closing credits roll.

Pirate Kind = The Ewoks
With piracy under threat of extinction, the world's pirates gather in one huge sequence to fight back... Yeah, so the Ewok thing's a stretch.