Well that was exciting
Sunday, December 18th, 2005 08:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lizziecI should be doing paperwork right now, but I'm not cos I only just got back from dropping Phil at the bus station for the 8pm coach.
Why did it take me so long to get back from a 5-10 min run?
Well... (and for more information on this see![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
benc's far more detailed LJ entry on it here)
We were walking back from the bus station to Watling Street Car Park (that's the one next to Whitefriars ;)) to the car when I noticed a man and a woman having an argument...when I next turned around he was pushing her over fairly violently. Then he got into the car and started to reverse from the parking space. She started to scream for help and she was clawing at his door trying to open it. The next thing I knew the screaming had stopped, she was on the floor and the man had stopped his car next to ours asking if we'd seen what had happened and would we stay around for the police so we could verify his story...
We went over to where she was lying and she seemed proper out of it. He kept telling us how she was really drunk and they'd been thrown out of Cafe Rouge and she got violent when she was drunk. Apparently she'd been trying to vandalise his car - they were partners apparently. She was lying on her back but we didn't know how she had got there. She was breathing so we left her like that and I covered her up with my coat while another bystander called for an ambulance. She's still unconcious and the man keeps asking her if she wants to go home. The witnesses (including ben and I) kept saying as she was unconcious she shouldn't be moved. I don't know about anyone else but part of my motivation in saying that was so she didn't go anywhere with him. He came across as a right sleaze. Yes, she was definately pissed - you could smell it, but she was unconcious and he didn't make any move to cover her up, check she was breathing or call for an ambulance. If you care about someone enough to date them and live with them why would you just not react at all when they are seemingly hurt?
Eventually the ambulance turned up and they got her up, awake and into the ambulance. When they woke her up she seemed really disorentated and whispered some stuff that ben could hear - her neck hurt, she wanted help, call the police. Then she came to herself a bit more and screamed for the police, that he was known to the police, he'd done this before. Once she was in the ambulance he took our names and drove off - didn't even ask about her...
We got the number plate - the police took it when they arrived and put out a call for it. Hopefully they'll find he's been drinking and he'll get done for drink driving (sorry - I really didn't like the guy). The police took our details and will get in touch if they need to.
So she is an apparently violent drunk, he's a scumbag who wants to move someone who possibly has head and neck injuries and who he was happy to drive away from earlier. Seems almost like they deserve one another. I dunno :|
I feel really shaken by it. Of all the witnesses I was the one who saw the most and I saw him push her over and I didn't do anything. I remember thinking conciously "What if he's got a weapon or something. I should stay out of it. I don't want to get hurt" I just stood and watched and it wasn't until she went down and stopped screaming and he stopped his car I went to do something.
When you hear about those people who have walked past when there has been an assault going on I keep thinking "I wouldn't do that". Faced with that situation I'm not convinced. I feel really bad about myself right now. I'm worried I would just walk by.
I don't want to be that person, I just got so scared.
Why did it take me so long to get back from a 5-10 min run?
Well... (and for more information on this see
benc's far more detailed LJ entry on it here)We were walking back from the bus station to Watling Street Car Park (that's the one next to Whitefriars ;)) to the car when I noticed a man and a woman having an argument...when I next turned around he was pushing her over fairly violently. Then he got into the car and started to reverse from the parking space. She started to scream for help and she was clawing at his door trying to open it. The next thing I knew the screaming had stopped, she was on the floor and the man had stopped his car next to ours asking if we'd seen what had happened and would we stay around for the police so we could verify his story...
We went over to where she was lying and she seemed proper out of it. He kept telling us how she was really drunk and they'd been thrown out of Cafe Rouge and she got violent when she was drunk. Apparently she'd been trying to vandalise his car - they were partners apparently. She was lying on her back but we didn't know how she had got there. She was breathing so we left her like that and I covered her up with my coat while another bystander called for an ambulance. She's still unconcious and the man keeps asking her if she wants to go home. The witnesses (including ben and I) kept saying as she was unconcious she shouldn't be moved. I don't know about anyone else but part of my motivation in saying that was so she didn't go anywhere with him. He came across as a right sleaze. Yes, she was definately pissed - you could smell it, but she was unconcious and he didn't make any move to cover her up, check she was breathing or call for an ambulance. If you care about someone enough to date them and live with them why would you just not react at all when they are seemingly hurt?
Eventually the ambulance turned up and they got her up, awake and into the ambulance. When they woke her up she seemed really disorentated and whispered some stuff that ben could hear - her neck hurt, she wanted help, call the police. Then she came to herself a bit more and screamed for the police, that he was known to the police, he'd done this before. Once she was in the ambulance he took our names and drove off - didn't even ask about her...
We got the number plate - the police took it when they arrived and put out a call for it. Hopefully they'll find he's been drinking and he'll get done for drink driving (sorry - I really didn't like the guy). The police took our details and will get in touch if they need to.
So she is an apparently violent drunk, he's a scumbag who wants to move someone who possibly has head and neck injuries and who he was happy to drive away from earlier. Seems almost like they deserve one another. I dunno :|
I feel really shaken by it. Of all the witnesses I was the one who saw the most and I saw him push her over and I didn't do anything. I remember thinking conciously "What if he's got a weapon or something. I should stay out of it. I don't want to get hurt" I just stood and watched and it wasn't until she went down and stopped screaming and he stopped his car I went to do something.
When you hear about those people who have walked past when there has been an assault going on I keep thinking "I wouldn't do that". Faced with that situation I'm not convinced. I feel really bad about myself right now. I'm worried I would just walk by.
I don't want to be that person, I just got so scared.
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no subject
Date: Sun, Dec. 18th, 2005 10:11 pm (UTC)It is the sort of situation you cannot get involved in, especially as you didnt know the poeple involved. And it seems like it all happened very quickly - do not hold yourself responsible.
My experiences:
Me and some friends saw a man beating into his girlfriend and screamed at him to stop and called the police.
Incidently she refused to press charges cos she "loved him"
But:
I was mugged in broad daylight on the Wincheap road and three people walked by and noone stopped to help.
It was caught on CCTV and there was a sucessful prosecution.
Sadly, it happens. It sucks, but you did the best you could. I dont thinkt hat there is anything more you could have done tbh.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: Sun, Dec. 18th, 2005 10:48 pm (UTC)On one occasion a man was hitting a woman, so he asked the man to stop, and attempted to stop him hitting her. Next thing he knew, the woman was hitting him and telling him to 'get off my boyfriend'. That put him in a difficult place defending himself without hurting her either.
I know he certainly thinks twice before intervening, often calling the police first and being very wary. The chances are had you intervened any quicker that it could have got nasty, or in fact the exact same thing would have happened.
Whatever is happening between those two that you met, it's so clouded by drunken insanity and whatever else is inside their heads. I doubt anyone could never possibly hope to get a sane idea of reality based upon what information that you had. You didn't just drive off, you did stick around for the police and you did try and do the best for the girl in terms of first aid and keeping the guy away from her if he was being stupid.
Sometimes calling 999 and standing back is the most sensible option, At least until you can get a handle on things. I totally relate to the being scared thing, and that fear is not without good reason.
no subject
Date: Mon, Dec. 19th, 2005 03:07 am (UTC)OK, yes. maybe she isn't the most perfect person in the world, but no one, male or female, deserves to be in an abusive relationship. She may get violent when she's drunk because of that relationship.
Anyway, with regards to feeling guilty about not doing much, I agree with the people above. You did much more than most other people would have done. I, fortunately have never been put in that position, and i like to think that i would be half as good as you and ben were, but i don't know. I don't wanna be that person either
*hugs*