Dream, and a meme

[lizziec]

One of the symptoms of my depression is that I get very tired, very quickly. The mornings are my best time, by lunchtime I'm hyper like an overtired child and by the afternoon I'm desperate for a nap. In the evening if I haven't had a nap then I am grouchy, bad tempered and very down. If I go out for any legnth of time to do something, no matter how rested I am and after 3-4 hours I am exhausted and down and need to come home and sleep. These two symptoms frustrate me no end, they're possibly one of the things that pisses me off most about my condition - more than the early morning waking, than the rollercoaster of emotions, than my lack of self respect and self confidence.

One of the side effects of my meds (Citalopram) is vivid dreams. Last night I had one, a really really weird one which makes me wonder if my subconcious is trying to send me a message.

I dreamed I had a serious operation (no idea what it was), which meant that I could barely walk and it took me a long time to have the stamina to walk very far or for very long, and then to be able to do that unaided. I was getting really pissed off with the process in my dream - I wanted to be better now and was annoyed that something that I should just be able to do was taking so much effort. Just as I was at my most pissed off kimble and barakta appeared (why them? No idea - my subconcious is pretty fucked up at the moment) and told me to stop getting pissed at myself. I would be back to how I should be with time, practice and patience and I just needed to stop getting annoyed at myself and take things a day at a time and try to do just a little more each day and eventually it would come.

Wow. I'm pretty fucked up at the moment ;)

Under the cut is the four things meme everyone is doing. I'm doing it cos I was sort of tagged by twigathy and I clearly have nothing better to do except waffle to LJ about my dreams ;)

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Optical Assistant for SpecSavers
2. Admin Assistant for NASS in the Home Office
3. Exam marker for Edexcel
4. "Secretarial Assistant" for CCS at the University of Kent

Four movies ive watched more than once:
1. Schindlers List
2. Downfall
3. The Pianist
4. The Longest Day

Four places I have lived:
1. Tate Road, Sutton, Surrey
2. Longlands Avenue, Coulsdon, Surrey
3. Darwin College, University of Kent
4. Becket Avenue, Canterbury, Kent

Programmes that I watch:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Heroes
3. The Daily Show
4. ER (until it went stupid)

Places I have travelled to:
1. Yorkshire
2. Mallorca
3. Skegness
4. Noss Mayo, Devon

Four People who e-mail me (regularly):
1. mum
2. foo
3. Sue
4. Claire

Four of my favourite foods:
1. Chinese
2. Curry
3. Pizza (Dominos and home made)
4. Roast Beef

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed
2. In Starbucks
3. Wrapped up warm on a blanket outside looking at the stars with ben
4. At the cinema

Four things I am looking forward to this year:
1. My birthday
2. Fireworks
3. Seeing Joseph in London with Mother-in-Law and Sister-in-Law
4. Christmas with family

Four friends I think will respond:
1. alisondh, because something else to do in the Office of Doom is always welcome :)
2. red_pill
3. kinkyjoey cos he doesn't post enough of his crazy crazy thoughts
4. bethanthepurple because everyone knows that Teachers have nothing to do during half term ;)

Comments

[red-pill.livejournal.com]

being wired is cool.

as a hero of mine said

kick reson to the cerb and punch throug to the imposble!

give it time, and i know that you can do it :D:D.

and dont rush your self. reson has reeeealy ressilant kiddnys. *nods*

[alisondh.livejournal.com]

LOL - do I moan about the Office of Doom that much?!!

I'm actually at home at the moment, but will give the meme a go as I can't go to bed until the washing machine has finished and I can hang the stuff up to dry.

[barakta]

Meep at your dream. I probably would have said pretty much those things accompanied by a relaxing beverage of your choice. One day at a time is a good mantra...

[trappermcintyre.livejournal.com]

do I moan about the Office of Doom that much?!!

No, but I know what it's like to be in an Office of Doom and sympathise like you wouldn't believe, so I like to find you things you can do that will possibly make the day pass a little faster :)

[bethanthepurple.livejournal.com]

Man, meds-dreams. I still have them vivid every night, but at least fewer nightmares now. I found one of the reasons behind my exhaustion was lack of deep sleep due to massive amounts of REM sleep. Either way, sucks donkey cock.

Take time. A bit of you is borked and needs time to fix. Not fair, boring, and frustrating, but give yourself a chance to heal.

*hugs*

[alisondh.livejournal.com]

Keep them coming!!