lizziec: (MASH - Hawkeye Trapper bromance)
[personal profile] lizziec
Um. Hi. *waves*

So I've been gone a while and feel I owe you an explanation. Here it is.

Most of you know I've been struggling for the past year with a flare up /relapse of my depression and anxiety. In October, in an effort to help fix me, my gp had me change my meds. In order to start new ones I had to go off the old ones and that messed me up. My flare up got worse and, as usually happens when I'm fucked up mentally I found it difficult to connect with, well, anything - books, TV, writing and especially people.

Because I find connecting so spoons depleting, I tend to cut it down to a minimum, talking to only 2 or 3 people on a regular basis because that's all I can cope with.

Things are a bit better. I'm finding connecting a bit less hard. It's not exactly easy yet, but this post is me trying.

I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I'm sorry I've ignored communications from those who have tried to raise me. To use the old cliche, it's not you, it's me. I just couldn't (and still can rarely) put my self together enough to properly communicate with more than a very few. I'm going to try harder from now and I'm incredibly sorry if I've upset any of you. I never intended to.

Please don't feel you have to reply to this. It's not a cry for help or pity. It's just me attempting to explain why I've been such a flake in the last four months.

This entry was originally posted at There are currently comment count unavailable comments on the original entry.

Date: 27 February 2012 12:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
We (at least me, but I guarantee other will say this too) Love you no matter what

I did have a moment that I may have pissed you off or been insensitive and said something hurtful.

I get the depression and the anxiety - I am going through a situation with my flat where the landlord is helping me sort it out because I have essentially given up on myself and the flat. I am going to the dr cause things got rough and I have been referred to Mental health services as well (only taken 8 years for them to realise things aren't working for me - shakes head)

You have not been a flake you have been trying to keep yourself together, that I can understand! You haven't upset me, I have just been wondering if you were ok and a little worried that I may have done something wrong.

Walk with love and light sweets x

Date: 27 February 2012 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Welcome back, hon. We certainly missed you. I hope everything continues to improve for you from here on. Totally understand that sometimes you need to just cut off all the extra distractions around you and recenter yourself. Don't feel guilty for that. I'm just glad you're back!


Date: 27 February 2012 08:26 am (UTC)
barakta: (Default)
From: [personal profile] barakta
Good to see you when you can, we'll still be here when you are able to surface with increasing spoons and so on.

I'm also hoping spring coming will be a boost cos winter sucks rocks when everything else is also crappy.

Date: 29 February 2012 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
oh girl. It's so rough; you don't have anything to apologize for. Fingers crossed that things keep getting better for you. ♥

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