The obligitory Christmas post

[lizziec]

Well, it's christmas eve now. 12 years tomorrow morning I became fatherless. That sounds so pathetic. It's weird cos I don't usually think about it, but I was just sitting here on my own and it occurred to me that this has been the best run up to christmas since that year when so much time was spent at other people's houses and being looked after while mamma was with daddy in hospital.

So here I am...20 years old, engaged, with a lovely 16 year old brother who has grown to be more than I ever thought he could be and a mamma who has coped unbelievably over the last 12 years and has finally started to move beyond just coping to living life to the full and moving beyond the night she was widowed. It makes me so very very thankful.

I forget now what the point of this post was. I think I'm trying to say that while I'm looking forward to christmas, it has a bittersweet sense for me and I don't think that will ever really go. Christmas is a time to be thankful, but in a sense it's also when I mourn the loss of my daddy and the little girl I was then...because after that christmas I changed...

Anyway, I'll stop my ramblings now. Another hour and a half or so and I'm off to midnight service at out local church :D

Merry christmas everyone :)

Comments

[slimeypete.livejournal.com]

*hug* I'm glad that this Christmas is going so well for you... I had my fingers crossed a bit in recent weeks tbh.

Anyway, you know that if you wanna talk about anything then I'm always willing to listen.

Merry xmas.

[phoenix-zephyr.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thinking of you hunny :)