lizziec: (Horrible Histories Dick Turpin (noose))
I had a couple of really fucked up dreams last night that left me feeling frightened and wtf-ing when I first woke up. Not the faintest idea what my brain was on.

In the first dream I was trying to escape from The Silents, but they kept chasing me. Then, just when I thought I'd got away they were there in front of me. It was at that moment that Ben's alarm went off and I woke up enough for the dream to stop, only for a new one to start.

This second dream was so stupid I could barely believe it.

I dreamed I was a commando in WWII, sent as part of a huge team on a secret mission to bring down Nazi HQ in France. I was in charge of jamming the communications of the Germans by taking over their communications post and then running it until the rest of the commandos had finished their mission.

The problem is that I couldn't speak French or German (nice to see that my unconscious is true to me like that), so I messed it up. A French guy came over to me and started to talk and I said "Je ne comprends pas" (which is pretty much the only French I know), when he switched to German and I was sunk, because I don't even know how to say "I don't understand" in German, so then he calls in some friends who start to try and question me, and I keep my mouth shut and say nothing, lest I give myself away. That's when I realise I'm still wearing my British uniform, with "Commando" as a shoulder patch on one arm, so I start standing next to a pillar so the enemy can't tell I'm a British commando from the shoulder patch because it's next to the pillar. Because apparently in my brain these people are too unobservant to notice the British uniform and only the shoulder patch would give me away.

I woke up just as the other guys in the room started shouting "Englisch".

Stupid brain.

This entry was originally posted at http://lizziec.dreamwidth.org/433230.html. There are currently comment count unavailable comments on the original entry.
lizziec: (Horrible Histories Dick Turpin (noose))
I had a couple of really fucked up dreams last night that left me feeling frightened and wtf-ing when I first woke up. Not the faintest idea what my brain was on.

In the first dream I was trying to escape from The Silents, but they kept chasing me. Then, just when I thought I'd got away they were there in front of me. It was at that moment that Ben's alarm went off and I woke up enough for the dream to stop, only for a new one to start.

This second dream was so stupid I could barely believe it.

I dreamed I was a commando in WWII, sent as part of a huge team on a secret mission to bring down Nazi HQ in France. I was in charge of jamming the communications of the Germans by taking over their communications post and then running it until the rest of the commandos had finished their mission.

The problem is that I couldn't speak French or German (nice to see that my unconscious is true to me like that), so I messed it up. A French guy came over to me and started to talk and I said "Je ne comprends pas" (which is pretty much the only French I know), when he switched to German and I was sunk, because I don't even know how to say "I don't understand" in German, so then he calls in some friends who start to try and question me, and I keep my mouth shut and say nothing, lest I give myself away. That's when I realise I'm still wearing my British uniform, with "Commando" as a shoulder patch on one arm, so I start standing next to a pillar so the enemy can't tell I'm a British commando from the shoulder patch because it's next to the pillar. Because apparently in my brain these people are too unobservant to notice the British uniform and only the shoulder patch would give me away.

I woke up just as the other guys in the room started shouting "Englisch".

Stupid brain.
lizziec: (Default)
Horrible awful dream in which ben died in a fire after running in to a building to rescue children. Woke up full of adrenaline, shaking and breathing very fast. It was horrible - really, really horrible.
lizziec: (Default)
Horrible awful dream in which ben died in a fire after running in to a building to rescue children. Woke up full of adrenaline, shaking and breathing very fast. It was horrible - really, really horrible.
lizziec: (apod - milky-way eating)
I dreamed about funerals last night and burying mum. FML.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (apod - milky-way eating)
I dreamed about funerals last night and burying mum. FML.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (turtle hugs)
I'm having something of a rest day today, as my Sundays in Canterbury have all been to some extent since this has all kicked off. We try to get everything errandy or houseworky done on Saturday so I can chill on Sunday, which is much needed.

Having said that, I woke up this morning crying after a dream in which my brother died of Cancer (why it was Phil and not mum I don't know), which wasn't the best start to a morning ever - waking up crying really sucks :/. Thankfully the rest of the day has improved on that and I'm feeling rather more rested than I did. Roast dinner tonight. MMmmm :)

After talking briefly to mum, and in a little more detail to Phil, (and going from advice from lots of people) I've decided to stay in Canterbury for a few days. Well, sort of, anyway.

The hospital will be calling tomorrow, hopefully with some idea of what the tumour is. If it's one that needs urgent treatment then I'll head up straight away (I'm "only" an hour away, and I'm packing first thing, just in case) and take her to the hospital. She'll probably need an hour to sort herself out properly anyway. If they say that it's not Urgent (for certain values of urgent anyway) I'll stay until Wednesday, heading up for the consult on Thursday at St Georges when we'll find out for sure.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered

With the worst case scenareo meaning driving up tomorrow morning, I'll at least get an extra night in my own bed with my own things, and that can't be bad. That's what I keep telling myself anyway, to help deal with the irrational guilt I feel at not heading back now, or first thing tomorrow for certain.
lizziec: (turtle hugs)
I'm having something of a rest day today, as my Sundays in Canterbury have all been to some extent since this has all kicked off. We try to get everything errandy or houseworky done on Saturday so I can chill on Sunday, which is much needed.

Having said that, I woke up this morning crying after a dream in which my brother died of Cancer (why it was Phil and not mum I don't know), which wasn't the best start to a morning ever - waking up crying really sucks :/. Thankfully the rest of the day has improved on that and I'm feeling rather more rested than I did. Roast dinner tonight. MMmmm :)

After talking briefly to mum, and in a little more detail to Phil, (and going from advice from lots of people) I've decided to stay in Canterbury for a few days. Well, sort of, anyway.

The hospital will be calling tomorrow, hopefully with some idea of what the tumour is. If it's one that needs urgent treatment then I'll head up straight away (I'm "only" an hour away, and I'm packing first thing, just in case) and take her to the hospital. She'll probably need an hour to sort herself out properly anyway. If they say that it's not Urgent (for certain values of urgent anyway) I'll stay until Wednesday, heading up for the consult on Thursday at St Georges when we'll find out for sure.

With the worst case scenareo meaning driving up tomorrow morning, I'll at least get an extra night in my own bed with my own things, and that can't be bad. That's what I keep telling myself anyway, to help deal with the irrational guilt I feel at not heading back now, or first thing tomorrow for certain.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (toys - munkeh!)
One of the symptoms of my depression is that I get very tired, very quickly. The mornings are my best time, by lunchtime I'm hyper like an overtired child and by the afternoon I'm desperate for a nap. In the evening if I haven't had a nap then I am grouchy, bad tempered and very down. If I go out for any legnth of time to do something, no matter how rested I am and after 3-4 hours I am exhausted and down and need to come home and sleep. These two symptoms frustrate me no end, they're possibly one of the things that pisses me off most about my condition - more than the early morning waking, than the rollercoaster of emotions, than my lack of self respect and self confidence.

One of the side effects of my meds (Citalopram) is vivid dreams. Last night I had one, a really really weird one which makes me wonder if my subconcious is trying to send me a message.

I dreamed I had a serious operation (no idea what it was), which meant that I could barely walk and it took me a long time to have the stamina to walk very far or for very long, and then to be able to do that unaided. I was getting really pissed off with the process in my dream - I wanted to be better now and was annoyed that something that I should just be able to do was taking so much effort. Just as I was at my most pissed off [livejournal.com profile] kimble and [livejournal.com profile] barakta appeared (why them? No idea - my subconcious is pretty fucked up at the moment) and told me to stop getting pissed at myself. I would be back to how I should be with time, practice and patience and I just needed to stop getting annoyed at myself and take things a day at a time and try to do just a little more each day and eventually it would come.

Wow. I'm pretty fucked up at the moment ;)

Under the cut is the four things meme everyone is doing. I'm doing it cos I was sort of tagged by [livejournal.com profile] twigathy and I clearly have nothing better to do except waffle to LJ about my dreams ;)

Four things meme )
lizziec: (toys - munkeh!)
One of the symptoms of my depression is that I get very tired, very quickly. The mornings are my best time, by lunchtime I'm hyper like an overtired child and by the afternoon I'm desperate for a nap. In the evening if I haven't had a nap then I am grouchy, bad tempered and very down. If I go out for any legnth of time to do something, no matter how rested I am and after 3-4 hours I am exhausted and down and need to come home and sleep. These two symptoms frustrate me no end, they're possibly one of the things that pisses me off most about my condition - more than the early morning waking, than the rollercoaster of emotions, than my lack of self respect and self confidence.

One of the side effects of my meds (Citalopram) is vivid dreams. Last night I had one, a really really weird one which makes me wonder if my subconcious is trying to send me a message.

I dreamed I had a serious operation (no idea what it was), which meant that I could barely walk and it took me a long time to have the stamina to walk very far or for very long, and then to be able to do that unaided. I was getting really pissed off with the process in my dream - I wanted to be better now and was annoyed that something that I should just be able to do was taking so much effort. Just as I was at my most pissed off [livejournal.com profile] kimble and [livejournal.com profile] barakta appeared (why them? No idea - my subconcious is pretty fucked up at the moment) and told me to stop getting pissed at myself. I would be back to how I should be with time, practice and patience and I just needed to stop getting annoyed at myself and take things a day at a time and try to do just a little more each day and eventually it would come.

Wow. I'm pretty fucked up at the moment ;)

Under the cut is the four things meme everyone is doing. I'm doing it cos I was sort of tagged by [livejournal.com profile] twigathy and I clearly have nothing better to do except waffle to LJ about my dreams ;)

Four things meme )
lizziec: (me - daddy and little lizzie)
I've just had a most disturbing dream. I was actually, really, dreaming about Assessment for Learning.

I think I need a holiday :|
lizziec: (me - daddy and little lizzie)
I've just had a most disturbing dream. I was actually, really, dreaming about Assessment for Learning.

I think I need a holiday :|
lizziec: (Stargate SG1 Daniel Jackson)
No more bad dreams about being raped please. I really do not like them.

Love from me.

In other news, need to finish up the last tiny bits of Christmas shopping today, then maybe I can start looking forward to it.

Feel awfully meh at the moment. Blame the dream.
lizziec: (Stargate SG1 Daniel Jackson)
No more bad dreams about being raped please. I really do not like them.

Love from me.

In other news, need to finish up the last tiny bits of Christmas shopping today, then maybe I can start looking forward to it.

Feel awfully meh at the moment. Blame the dream.
lizziec: (Pretty)
Was sound asleep, proper proper deep just now when I started to dream and when it all unfolded before my eyes I was so scared I haad to wake ben up immediately. I'm still very scared and shaking.

I drempt I was shopping or in a class or something with skel (for some reason) when a notice was read out all around us to say that we should go back to our homes, that where ever we were was closing down and that the transport network, everything, was doing the same and that this was because the whole of the centre of Reigate had just been completely destroyed somehow and all the people there were dead. I can remember thinking "all those people" over and over again and starting to cry and that was when I woke up.

After that I'm actually scared to go back to sleep again. That has to be the worst bad dream I've ever had.

I'm hoping writing about it will help, because I can't actually physically talk about it yet.

:(
lizziec: (Pretty)
Was sound asleep, proper proper deep just now when I started to dream and when it all unfolded before my eyes I was so scared I haad to wake ben up immediately. I'm still very scared and shaking.

I drempt I was shopping or in a class or something with skel (for some reason) when a notice was read out all around us to say that we should go back to our homes, that where ever we were was closing down and that the transport network, everything, was doing the same and that this was because the whole of the centre of Reigate had just been completely destroyed somehow and all the people there were dead. I can remember thinking "all those people" over and over again and starting to cry and that was when I woke up.

After that I'm actually scared to go back to sleep again. That has to be the worst bad dream I've ever had.

I'm hoping writing about it will help, because I can't actually physically talk about it yet.

:(
lizziec: (Me)
I just dreamed it was the morning of the wedding and that I was getting ready. Nice dream, though now I'm in a state of nervous excitement :D Wish it was today ;)

In other news: Feel like the wedding is taking over my life and making me boring. Everytime someone asks me how I am I give my answer and mention the wedding...most of my conversation is about. Sorry people if I do appear boring - my mind will diversify again after September 3rd...I hope!

2 Weeks, 4 Days...
lizziec: (Me)
I just dreamed it was the morning of the wedding and that I was getting ready. Nice dream, though now I'm in a state of nervous excitement :D Wish it was today ;)

In other news: Feel like the wedding is taking over my life and making me boring. Everytime someone asks me how I am I give my answer and mention the wedding...most of my conversation is about. Sorry people if I do appear boring - my mind will diversify again after September 3rd...I hope!

2 Weeks, 4 Days...
lizziec: (Default)
Had an odd dream last night, really realistic. I dreamed that there were another attack on the UK by the same terrorists who were using Guns instead and shot dead the Prince of Wales and his sons.

Bizarre o.O
lizziec: (Default)
Had an odd dream last night, really realistic. I dreamed that there were another attack on the UK by the same terrorists who were using Guns instead and shot dead the Prince of Wales and his sons.

Bizarre o.O

Dreams

9 July 2005 08:06 am
lizziec: (Default)
The past couple of nights I've been having some very weird dreams. On Thursday night I drempt about terrorists, bombs and being trapped on the tube. I also drempt about dead people and imagined spirits all around me, though given yesterdays events I was not awfully surprised. Last night before I went to sleep I had my "feelings" again, feeling like all around me there were spirits of the dead. I wish I didn't get those feelings cos they scare me. Luckily my dreams were slightly more peaceful, though much more stressful :P I shouldn't be surprised at the content of them either given it's now a only month and three weeks until the wedding. Basically all last night's dreams were about the wedding and none of them were *nice*. They ranged from having no money to get married with to a relative making me a corset and bloomers to wear underneith the dress that were, in fact, the ugliest things ever but I had to wear them cos otherwise she'd be offended to all the plans falling apart and arriving at the church in my jeans and a tshirt, devoid of bridesmaids and flowers. Argh. Stupid wedding :|

Dreams

9 July 2005 08:06 am
lizziec: (Default)
The past couple of nights I've been having some very weird dreams. On Thursday night I drempt about terrorists, bombs and being trapped on the tube. I also drempt about dead people and imagined spirits all around me, though given yesterdays events I was not awfully surprised. Last night before I went to sleep I had my "feelings" again, feeling like all around me there were spirits of the dead. I wish I didn't get those feelings cos they scare me. Luckily my dreams were slightly more peaceful, though much more stressful :P I shouldn't be surprised at the content of them either given it's now a only month and three weeks until the wedding. Basically all last night's dreams were about the wedding and none of them were *nice*. They ranged from having no money to get married with to a relative making me a corset and bloomers to wear underneith the dress that were, in fact, the ugliest things ever but I had to wear them cos otherwise she'd be offended to all the plans falling apart and arriving at the church in my jeans and a tshirt, devoid of bridesmaids and flowers. Argh. Stupid wedding :|

Dreams

10 April 2005 10:00 am
lizziec: (Default)
Had a couple of odd dreams last night - odd because I remember them so clearly.

The first was that Vindaloo was uberb0rk and ben was inconsolable.

The second was debian stable was upgraded overnight to debian sarge so I was helping ben upgrade the boxes running stable, but then it turned out debian fucked up and the upgrade destroyed the build of them on the systems...

I'm curious to know why they both revolve around computers... >.

Dreams

10 April 2005 10:00 am
lizziec: (Default)
Had a couple of odd dreams last night - odd because I remember them so clearly.

The first was that Vindaloo was uberb0rk and ben was inconsolable.

The second was debian stable was upgraded overnight to debian sarge so I was helping ben upgrade the boxes running stable, but then it turned out debian fucked up and the upgrade destroyed the build of them on the systems...

I'm curious to know why they both revolve around computers... >.
lizziec: (Default)
I ph33r for my sanity sometimes.

Last night I had a dream that involved:

  1. a world war one battle

  2. brian may

  3. a michael jackson concert I organised

  4. michael jackson

  5. michael jackson dressed as Freddie Mercury doing queen

  6. being on the run after stealing a song from it which it turns out I wrote but everyone thinks michael jackson did.



Argh >.< My brain...
lizziec: (Default)
I ph33r for my sanity sometimes.

Last night I had a dream that involved:

  1. a world war one battle

  2. brian may

  3. a michael jackson concert I organised

  4. michael jackson

  5. michael jackson dressed as Freddie Mercury doing queen

  6. being on the run after stealing a song from it which it turns out I wrote but everyone thinks michael jackson did.



Argh >.< My brain...
lizziec: (Default)
I don't often dream so that I rememeber. This is mostly because I'm so exhausted when I get into bed and still tired when I get up so I never get to that level of sleep. The past few days have been very weird in that they have seen the most memorable dreams (including one nightmare) that I have had in a long long time.

nightmare )

recurring dream )

Now I have semnar prep to do :(
lizziec: (Default)
I don't often dream so that I rememeber. This is mostly because I'm so exhausted when I get into bed and still tired when I get up so I never get to that level of sleep. The past few days have been very weird in that they have seen the most memorable dreams (including one nightmare) that I have had in a long long time.

nightmare )

recurring dream )

Now I have semnar prep to do :(

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