lizziec: (me - Lizzie-ben-wedding)
Ben and I have been quietly house-hunting since the start of this year. We've been bursting out of the seams of our little rented flat for years now and despite taking on a storage locker and a garage in the last couple of years our space issues were getting silly.

Anyway, we've found somewhere we want to buy and though it's not in the location I would have picked it's a beautiful house and our third offer on the place was accepted on Tuesday!

It's very early days so still rather scary in all the things that could go wrong with housebuying, but at the moment it looks as though we have a house! I felt initally really pleased and excited - now I'm rather nervous of it all and feeling a bit out of control. And despite all of the things I won't miss about our flat (how small it is, how the carpets are crappy and stuck down with rubbish glue so they're all peeling, and magnolia walls and mould) I will miss being here because we've lived here for 6 years and it was our first place together. But wow. Big grown up thing is happening right here.

We're buying a house! :D

This entry was originally posted at http://lizziec.dreamwidth.org/420695.html. There are currently comments on the original entry.
lizziec: (me - Lizzie-ben-wedding)
Ben and I have been quietly house-hunting since the start of this year. We've been bursting out of the seams of our little rented flat for years now and despite taking on a storage locker and a garage in the last couple of years our space issues were getting silly.

Anyway, we've found somewhere we want to buy and though it's not in the location I would have picked it's a beautiful house and our third offer on the place was accepted on Tuesday!

It's very early days so still rather scary in all the things that could go wrong with housebuying, but at the moment it looks as though we have a house! I felt initally really pleased and excited - now I'm rather nervous of it all and feeling a bit out of control. And despite all of the things I won't miss about our flat (how small it is, how the carpets are crappy and stuck down with rubbish glue so they're all peeling, and magnolia walls and mould) I will miss being here because we've lived here for 6 years and it was our first place together. But wow. Big grown up thing is happening right here.

We're buying a house! :D

This entry was originally posted at http://lizziec.dreamwidth.org/420695.html. There are currently comments on the original entry.
lizziec: (Lizzie-ben in snow)
Ben and I have been quietly house-hunting since the start of this year. We've been bursting out of the seams of our little rented flat for years now and despite taking on a storage locker and a garage in the last couple of years our space issues were getting silly.

Anyway, we've found somewhere we want to buy and though it's not in the location I would have picked it's a beautiful house and our third offer on the place was accepted on Tuesday!

It's very early days so still rather scary in all the things that could go wrong with housebuying, but at the moment it looks as though we have a house! I felt initally really pleased and excited - now I'm rather nervous of it all and feeling a bit out of control. And despite all of the things I won't miss about our flat (how small it is, how the carpets are crappy and stuck down with rubbish glue so they're all peeling, and magnolia walls and mould) I will miss being here because we've lived here for 6 years and it was our first place together. But wow. Big grown up thing is happening right here.

We're buying a house! :D
lizziec: (MASH - Hawkeye Trapper bromance)
Well the good news, that I truly did not expect to be writing over the weekend, is that mum is still with us, and in some ways far stronger that we would or could have dared to imagine. For example, she managed a shower yesterday. She is, however, still on what Fiona, the brilliant Macmillan nurse calls a knife edge. She's still not really stable.

We know a little more about what is going on now. Mum has an infection which is making it hard to control her blood sugar, and has been on IV antibiotics for it since she was admitted on Thursday. The antibiotics haven't knocked it out so they started her on a second antibiotic today. They don't know where the infection is though, so obviously that makes it hard to treat. There is a possibility, though I don't know how actually likely it is, that the infection is being caused by the tumour itself (that part of the tissue of the tumour has died and become necrotic - that is, it's rotting away in her head). As of now it is just a theory though.

I think I mentioned the arrhythmia before. It's Arterial Fibrilation, and it is at least under control at the moment.

In her current condition they would not be able to start radiotherapy, and until she is more stable they're certainly not talking about transferring her from St Georges to anywhere, even the Royal Marsden, and are even further away from discussing her discharge.

Mum is a little more awake at the moment than she was over the weekend, which, given how sick she was on Friday will probably not surprise anyone. She also gets tired very easily - just sitting up for 10 mins means she has to sleep for the next hour. The fact that she is more with it and even able to sit up is the silver lining. Here is the cloud.

The tumour symptoms have and are continuing to get much worse. There's a constant nasal discharge, and the numbness and weakness in her face is getting worse. She can barely bite or chew (which is the reason why the doctors are probably going to put in a feeding [NG] tube tomorrow), and when she drinks, most of the liquid comes out again, though because of the numbness she isn't aware of it. The deafness in her left ear is worse, and her right eye is bulging out more. We've been told that the biggest danger of mum dying imminently comes from the fact that the tumour is wrapped her carotid artery. Apparently this could weaken the wall of the artery and lead to a massive bleed, the only upside to which is that it kills pretty painlessly and immediately.

Because mum is so unstable still, Fiona, the brilliant Macmillan nurse, is sorting out a low cost solicitor that they apparently use all the time at the hospital, to come out and help mum sort a will and a power of attorney, so no matter what happens and when, we're covered.

Mum is having good days and bad days, mood wise. Today has been pretty bad. She's been moved to a side room on the same ward and is convinced that she's dying and noone has told her. Which isn't true, as i) she isn't dying in the sense she means it - she's still critical but she was much more obviously about to die on Friday, or Saturday or Sunday, and ii) we have told her everything we know, and whether or not she remembers it, the doctors have too. The reason they've moved her is to make it easier for her to sleep and easier for us to be with her. She's also talking about having the cats put down because "let's face it, I'm not going home again." When I said that whether or not that was true we liked and would care for the cats she looked at me like I was lying, pulled a face and ignored me for a bit.

Like I said, she was having a bad day.

On top of all of this, I'm becoming increasingly aware that I am running out of mental health spoons. Thanks to Ben being so supportive I went into mum's illness with quite a stockpile built up, but I'm becoming aware that I'm nearly out. I'm getting tired out more easily, and getting irritable and bad tempered for no reason, and overreacting to small irritating situations.

This is not good, but I don't really know how to remedy it. Going home to Canterbury would probably help, but if time is very short, I don't want to spend anywhere else - I'm spending visiting hours (all of them) at the hospital, and should she die, I don't want to be in Kent. Being in Coulsdon is already quite far enough from the hospital.

When at mum's (as opposed to the Hospital), other stuff has to be done - Phil and I divide this between ourselves, and ignored this stuff for several days when the danger was most - but it takes time and spoons to do. However, if we were to ignore this stuff we'd end up with no clean clothes, cutlery/crockery or floor/workspace. On top of everything, I'm not sleeping very deeply because part of me is expecting the phone call.

I'm starting to feel the depression again, and the anxiety (though not badly yet, just I'm aware of them). And that's stressing me out even more. I don't want to backslide, but I don't know how to not.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (MASH - Hawkeye Trapper bromance)
Well the good news, that I truly did not expect to be writing over the weekend, is that mum is still with us, and in some ways far stronger that we would or could have dared to imagine. For example, she managed a shower yesterday. She is, however, still on what Fiona, the brilliant Macmillan nurse calls a knife edge. She's still not really stable.

We know a little more about what is going on now. Mum has an infection which is making it hard to control her blood sugar, and has been on IV antibiotics for it since she was admitted on Thursday. The antibiotics haven't knocked it out so they started her on a second antibiotic today. They don't know where the infection is though, so obviously that makes it hard to treat. There is a possibility, though I don't know how actually likely it is, that the infection is being caused by the tumour itself (that part of the tissue of the tumour has died and become necrotic - that is, it's rotting away in her head). As of now it is just a theory though.

I think I mentioned the arrhythmia before. It's Arterial Fibrilation, and it is at least under control at the moment.

In her current condition they would not be able to start radiotherapy, and until she is more stable they're certainly not talking about transferring her from St Georges to anywhere, even the Royal Marsden, and are even further away from discussing her discharge.

Mum is a little more awake at the moment than she was over the weekend, which, given how sick she was on Friday will probably not surprise anyone. She also gets tired very easily - just sitting up for 10 mins means she has to sleep for the next hour. The fact that she is more with it and even able to sit up is the silver lining. Here is the cloud.

The tumour symptoms have and are continuing to get much worse. There's a constant nasal discharge, and the numbness and weakness in her face is getting worse. She can barely bite or chew (which is the reason why the doctors are probably going to put in a feeding [NG] tube tomorrow), and when she drinks, most of the liquid comes out again, though because of the numbness she isn't aware of it. The deafness in her left ear is worse, and her right eye is bulging out more. We've been told that the biggest danger of mum dying imminently comes from the fact that the tumour is wrapped her carotid artery. Apparently this could weaken the wall of the artery and lead to a massive bleed, the only upside to which is that it kills pretty painlessly and immediately.

Because mum is so unstable still, Fiona, the brilliant Macmillan nurse, is sorting out a low cost solicitor that they apparently use all the time at the hospital, to come out and help mum sort a will and a power of attorney, so no matter what happens and when, we're covered.

Mum is having good days and bad days, mood wise. Today has been pretty bad. She's been moved to a side room on the same ward and is convinced that she's dying and noone has told her. Which isn't true, as i) she isn't dying in the sense she means it - she's still critical but she was much more obviously about to die on Friday, or Saturday or Sunday, and ii) we have told her everything we know, and whether or not she remembers it, the doctors have too. The reason they've moved her is to make it easier for her to sleep and easier for us to be with her. She's also talking about having the cats put down because "let's face it, I'm not going home again." When I said that whether or not that was true we liked and would care for the cats she looked at me like I was lying, pulled a face and ignored me for a bit.

Like I said, she was having a bad day.

On top of all of this, I'm becoming increasingly aware that I am running out of mental health spoons. Thanks to Ben being so supportive I went into mum's illness with quite a stockpile built up, but I'm becoming aware that I'm nearly out. I'm getting tired out more easily, and getting irritable and bad tempered for no reason, and overreacting to small irritating situations.

This is not good, but I don't really know how to remedy it. Going home to Canterbury would probably help, but if time is very short, I don't want to spend anywhere else - I'm spending visiting hours (all of them) at the hospital, and should she die, I don't want to be in Kent. Being in Coulsdon is already quite far enough from the hospital.

When at mum's (as opposed to the Hospital), other stuff has to be done - Phil and I divide this between ourselves, and ignored this stuff for several days when the danger was most - but it takes time and spoons to do. However, if we were to ignore this stuff we'd end up with no clean clothes, cutlery/crockery or floor/workspace. On top of everything, I'm not sleeping very deeply because part of me is expecting the phone call.

I'm starting to feel the depression again, and the anxiety (though not badly yet, just I'm aware of them). And that's stressing me out even more. I don't want to backslide, but I don't know how to not.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (MASH - Hawkeye Trapper bromance)
Well the good news, that I truly did not expect to be writing over the weekend, is that mum is still with us, and in some ways far stronger that we would or could have dared to imagine. For example, she managed a shower yesterday. She is, however, still on what Fiona, the brilliant Macmillan nurse calls a knife edge. She's still not really stable.

We know a little more about what is going on now. Mum has an infection which is making it hard to control her blood sugar, and has been on IV antibiotics for it since she was admitted on Thursday. The antibiotics haven't knocked it out so they started her on a second antibiotic today. They don't know where the infection is though, so obviously that makes it hard to treat. There is a possibility, though I don't know how actually likely it is, that the infection is being caused by the tumour itself (that part of the tissue of the tumour has died and become necrotic - that is, it's rotting away in her head). As of now it is just a theory though.

I think I mentioned the arrhythmia before. It's Arterial Fibrilation, and it is at least under control at the moment.

In her current condition they would not be able to start radiotherapy, and until she is more stable they're certainly not talking about transferring her from St Georges to anywhere, even the Royal Marsden, and are even further away from discussing her discharge.

Mum is a little more awake at the moment than she was over the weekend, which, given how sick she was on Friday will probably not surprise anyone. She also gets tired very easily - just sitting up for 10 mins means she has to sleep for the next hour. The fact that she is more with it and even able to sit up is the silver lining. Here is the cloud.

The tumour symptoms have and are continuing to get much worse. There's a constant nasal discharge, and the numbness and weakness in her face is getting worse. She can barely bite or chew (which is the reason why the doctors are probably going to put in a feeding [NG] tube tomorrow), and when she drinks, most of the liquid comes out again, though because of the numbness she isn't aware of it. The deafness in her left ear is worse, and her right eye is bulging out more. We've been told that the biggest danger of mum dying imminently comes from the fact that the tumour is wrapped her carotid artery. Apparently this could weaken the wall of the artery and lead to a massive bleed, the only upside to which is that it kills pretty painlessly and immediately.

Because mum is so unstable still, Fiona, the brilliant Macmillan nurse, is sorting out a low cost solicitor that they apparently use all the time at the hospital, to come out and help mum sort a will and a power of attorney, so no matter what happens and when, we're covered.

Mum is having good days and bad days, mood wise. Today has been pretty bad. She's been moved to a side room on the same ward and is convinced that she's dying and noone has told her. Which isn't true, as i) she isn't dying in the sense she means it - she's still critical but she was much more obviously about to die on Friday, or Saturday or Sunday, and ii) we have told her everything we know, and whether or not she remembers it, the doctors have too. The reason they've moved her is to make it easier for her to sleep and easier for us to be with her. She's also talking about having the cats put down because "let's face it, I'm not going home again." When I said that whether or not that was true we liked and would care for the cats she looked at me like I was lying, pulled a face and ignored me for a bit.

Like I said, she was having a bad day.

On top of all of this, I'm becoming increasingly aware that I am running out of mental health spoons. Thanks to Ben being so supportive I went into mum's illness with quite a stockpile built up, but I'm becoming aware that I'm nearly out. I'm getting tired out more easily, and getting irritable and bad tempered for no reason, and overreacting to small irritating situations.

This is not good, but I don't really know how to remedy it. Going home to Canterbury would probably help, but if time is very short, I don't want to spend anywhere else - I'm spending visiting hours (all of them) at the hospital, and should she die, I don't want to be in Kent. Being in Coulsdon is already quite far enough from the hospital.

When at mum's (as opposed to the Hospital), other stuff has to be done - Phil and I divide this between ourselves, and ignored this stuff for several days when the danger was most - but it takes time and spoons to do. However, if we were to ignore this stuff we'd end up with no clean clothes, cutlery/crockery or floor/workspace. On top of everything, I'm not sleeping very deeply because part of me is expecting the phone call.

I'm starting to feel the depression again, and the anxiety (though not badly yet, just I'm aware of them). And that's stressing me out even more. I don't want to backslide, but I don't know how to not.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (Rocks fall)
We went to St Georges ENT clinic again today, in the absence of any news in the meantime, and the news we got from Mr Williamson today is not good. Looking at it objectively, I suppose it's not the worst news we could have had - mum won't die tomorrow - but it pretty much extinguishes all hope, and from that point of view it doesn't get much worse.

The pathologists at St Georges were unable to make a diagnosis of mum's tumour from the samples taken at biopsy and so they've sent it to a Professor Fisher at the Royal Marsden (think he's the guy at the bottom here, which makes him sound like he's pretty much a world expert) who is pretty much the last chance for identifying the tumour, and it's a pretty slim chance. It's likely that we will never find out what the tumour is.

If they can't identify the tumour then they won't be able to offer Chemotherapy, as different tumours react in different ways to different drugs, and as I mentioned before, surgery is out because the tumour is wrapped around mum's Carotid artery. Mr Williamson pretty much said today that there is a very good chance that the cancer/tumour is terminal, and that the most that they will be able to do for mum is palliative radiotherapy.

Failing any news before next Thursday we'll be seeing him again for a confirmation that there's not much they can do. After that (or before, depending on when they know for sure) they'll refer mum to the Royal Marsden at Sutton for the radiotherapy.

In the meantime, mum's been given five days worth of steroids in the hope that they can quell some of the worst symptoms by reducing the swelling and inflammation that's being caused by the tumour. The downside to this is that the steriods will mess with mum's diabetes management and in the worst case scenareo she will end up in hospital for constant monitoring and possibly be on an insulin drip. The steriods are at a low dose to try and ward off problems, but that means there's less chance of them having an effect. The Macmillan nurse (Fiona) at St Georges is contacting the diabetic nurse at mum's GP to arrange for close-ish monitoring, though I don't know how we'll manage over the weekend. Hopefully some more answers on that tomorrow.

I don't know yet if I'm going home this weekend. I don't want to be in Canterbury if mum does end up in hospital because of the steriod/diabetes mix. Mostly right now I'm trying to deal with the fact that the diagnosis is almost certainly terminal. I feel like I did back at the cancer diagnosis. I'm swinging wildly between numb-Lizzie, planning-Lizzie and sobbing-her-heart-out-Lizzie. Ben's taken tomorrow off work and will be arriving tonight, which will be good as I feel like I need someone not so emotionally involved to lean on. Phil just came home and we hugged like we haven't hugged in ages.

Feel awful.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (Rocks fall)
We went to St Georges ENT clinic again today, in the absence of any news in the meantime, and the news we got from Mr Williamson today is not good. Looking at it objectively, I suppose it's not the worst news we could have had - mum won't die tomorrow - but it pretty much extinguishes all hope, and from that point of view it doesn't get much worse.

The pathologists at St Georges were unable to make a diagnosis of mum's tumour from the samples taken at biopsy and so they've sent it to a Professor Fisher at the Royal Marsden (think he's the guy at the bottom here, which makes him sound like he's pretty much a world expert) who is pretty much the last chance for identifying the tumour, and it's a pretty slim chance. It's likely that we will never find out what the tumour is.

If they can't identify the tumour then they won't be able to offer Chemotherapy, as different tumours react in different ways to different drugs, and as I mentioned before, surgery is out because the tumour is wrapped around mum's Carotid artery. Mr Williamson pretty much said today that there is a very good chance that the cancer/tumour is terminal, and that the most that they will be able to do for mum is palliative radiotherapy.

Failing any news before next Thursday we'll be seeing him again for a confirmation that there's not much they can do. After that (or before, depending on when they know for sure) they'll refer mum to the Royal Marsden at Sutton for the radiotherapy.

In the meantime, mum's been given five days worth of steroids in the hope that they can quell some of the worst symptoms by reducing the swelling and inflammation that's being caused by the tumour. The downside to this is that the steriods will mess with mum's diabetes management and in the worst case scenareo she will end up in hospital for constant monitoring and possibly be on an insulin drip. The steriods are at a low dose to try and ward off problems, but that means there's less chance of them having an effect. The Macmillan nurse (Fiona) at St Georges is contacting the diabetic nurse at mum's GP to arrange for close-ish monitoring, though I don't know how we'll manage over the weekend. Hopefully some more answers on that tomorrow.

I don't know yet if I'm going home this weekend. I don't want to be in Canterbury if mum does end up in hospital because of the steriod/diabetes mix. Mostly right now I'm trying to deal with the fact that the diagnosis is almost certainly terminal. I feel like I did back at the cancer diagnosis. I'm swinging wildly between numb-Lizzie, planning-Lizzie and sobbing-her-heart-out-Lizzie. Ben's taken tomorrow off work and will be arriving tonight, which will be good as I feel like I need someone not so emotionally involved to lean on. Phil just came home and we hugged like we haven't hugged in ages.

Feel awful.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (Rocks fall)
We went to St Georges ENT clinic again today, in the absence of any news in the meantime, and the news we got from Mr Williamson today is not good. Looking at it objectively, I suppose it's not the worst news we could have had - mum won't die tomorrow - but it pretty much extinguishes all hope, and from that point of view it doesn't get much worse.

The pathologists at St Georges were unable to make a diagnosis of mum's tumour from the samples taken at biopsy and so they've sent it to a Professor Fisher at the Royal Marsden (think he's the guy at the bottom here, which makes him sound like he's pretty much a world expert) who is pretty much the last chance for identifying the tumour, and it's a pretty slim chance. It's likely that we will never find out what the tumour is.

If they can't identify the tumour then they won't be able to offer Chemotherapy, as different tumours react in different ways to different drugs, and as I mentioned before, surgery is out because the tumour is wrapped around mum's Carotid artery. Mr Williamson pretty much said today that there is a very good chance that the cancer/tumour is terminal, and that the most that they will be able to do for mum is palliative radiotherapy.

Failing any news before next Thursday we'll be seeing him again for a confirmation that there's not much they can do. After that (or before, depending on when they know for sure) they'll refer mum to the Royal Marsden at Sutton for the radiotherapy.

In the meantime, mum's been given five days worth of steroids in the hope that they can quell some of the worst symptoms by reducing the swelling and inflammation that's being caused by the tumour. The downside to this is that the steriods will mess with mum's diabetes management and in the worst case scenareo she will end up in hospital for constant monitoring and possibly be on an insulin drip. The steriods are at a low dose to try and ward off problems, but that means there's less chance of them having an effect. The Macmillan nurse (Fiona) at St Georges is contacting the diabetic nurse at mum's GP to arrange for close-ish monitoring, though I don't know how we'll manage over the weekend. Hopefully some more answers on that tomorrow.

I don't know yet if I'm going home this weekend. I don't want to be in Canterbury if mum does end up in hospital because of the steriod/diabetes mix. Mostly right now I'm trying to deal with the fact that the diagnosis is almost certainly terminal. I feel like I did back at the cancer diagnosis. I'm swinging wildly between numb-Lizzie, planning-Lizzie and sobbing-her-heart-out-Lizzie. Ben's taken tomorrow off work and will be arriving tonight, which will be good as I feel like I need someone not so emotionally involved to lean on. Phil just came home and we hugged like we haven't hugged in ages.

Feel awful.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (turtle hugs)
I'm having something of a rest day today, as my Sundays in Canterbury have all been to some extent since this has all kicked off. We try to get everything errandy or houseworky done on Saturday so I can chill on Sunday, which is much needed.

Having said that, I woke up this morning crying after a dream in which my brother died of Cancer (why it was Phil and not mum I don't know), which wasn't the best start to a morning ever - waking up crying really sucks :/. Thankfully the rest of the day has improved on that and I'm feeling rather more rested than I did. Roast dinner tonight. MMmmm :)

After talking briefly to mum, and in a little more detail to Phil, (and going from advice from lots of people) I've decided to stay in Canterbury for a few days. Well, sort of, anyway.

The hospital will be calling tomorrow, hopefully with some idea of what the tumour is. If it's one that needs urgent treatment then I'll head up straight away (I'm "only" an hour away, and I'm packing first thing, just in case) and take her to the hospital. She'll probably need an hour to sort herself out properly anyway. If they say that it's not Urgent (for certain values of urgent anyway) I'll stay until Wednesday, heading up for the consult on Thursday at St Georges when we'll find out for sure.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered

With the worst case scenareo meaning driving up tomorrow morning, I'll at least get an extra night in my own bed with my own things, and that can't be bad. That's what I keep telling myself anyway, to help deal with the irrational guilt I feel at not heading back now, or first thing tomorrow for certain.
lizziec: (turtle hugs)
I'm having something of a rest day today, as my Sundays in Canterbury have all been to some extent since this has all kicked off. We try to get everything errandy or houseworky done on Saturday so I can chill on Sunday, which is much needed.

Having said that, I woke up this morning crying after a dream in which my brother died of Cancer (why it was Phil and not mum I don't know), which wasn't the best start to a morning ever - waking up crying really sucks :/. Thankfully the rest of the day has improved on that and I'm feeling rather more rested than I did. Roast dinner tonight. MMmmm :)

After talking briefly to mum, and in a little more detail to Phil, (and going from advice from lots of people) I've decided to stay in Canterbury for a few days. Well, sort of, anyway.

The hospital will be calling tomorrow, hopefully with some idea of what the tumour is. If it's one that needs urgent treatment then I'll head up straight away (I'm "only" an hour away, and I'm packing first thing, just in case) and take her to the hospital. She'll probably need an hour to sort herself out properly anyway. If they say that it's not Urgent (for certain values of urgent anyway) I'll stay until Wednesday, heading up for the consult on Thursday at St Georges when we'll find out for sure.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered

With the worst case scenareo meaning driving up tomorrow morning, I'll at least get an extra night in my own bed with my own things, and that can't be bad. That's what I keep telling myself anyway, to help deal with the irrational guilt I feel at not heading back now, or first thing tomorrow for certain.
lizziec: (turtle hugs)
I'm having something of a rest day today, as my Sundays in Canterbury have all been to some extent since this has all kicked off. We try to get everything errandy or houseworky done on Saturday so I can chill on Sunday, which is much needed.

Having said that, I woke up this morning crying after a dream in which my brother died of Cancer (why it was Phil and not mum I don't know), which wasn't the best start to a morning ever - waking up crying really sucks :/. Thankfully the rest of the day has improved on that and I'm feeling rather more rested than I did. Roast dinner tonight. MMmmm :)

After talking briefly to mum, and in a little more detail to Phil, (and going from advice from lots of people) I've decided to stay in Canterbury for a few days. Well, sort of, anyway.

The hospital will be calling tomorrow, hopefully with some idea of what the tumour is. If it's one that needs urgent treatment then I'll head up straight away (I'm "only" an hour away, and I'm packing first thing, just in case) and take her to the hospital. She'll probably need an hour to sort herself out properly anyway. If they say that it's not Urgent (for certain values of urgent anyway) I'll stay until Wednesday, heading up for the consult on Thursday at St Georges when we'll find out for sure.

With the worst case scenareo meaning driving up tomorrow morning, I'll at least get an extra night in my own bed with my own things, and that can't be bad. That's what I keep telling myself anyway, to help deal with the irrational guilt I feel at not heading back now, or first thing tomorrow for certain.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (NCIS gibbs abby protection)
Got to Mayday for the hastily arranged ENT appointment about half an hour early and were seen immediately by the doctor. I can't say I was overly impressed with his bedside manner, though it improved some way into the appointment where we reached a mutual understanding. A little more on that further in.

To start with the doctor was very brisk, and wanted to know mum's history with this problem starting from the beginning which upset and frustrated her, so I'm not sure he got a complete picture. Then without any prep time at all went to stick a camera up her nose to see what was going on up there, which completely understandably completely upset mum. She started to cry and said that she hadn't expected that - which was fair as we were just told to be there, no details more than that - and the doctor got kind of frustrated and said that he'd only been handed the case the evening before and had squeezed us into his clinic as a favour to the Neurologist that mum had seen before and was seeing lots more patients in clinic today than he had timeslots for. I guess that explains why we got seen as soon as we got there rather than at a specific time. After we understood he was rushed and he understood mum was scared and uninformed about what the appointment would involve he became much better bedside manner wise. It's a shame it took tears and stuff to get to that point.

He had a go at getting the camera up mum's left nostril, but it didn't go very far as he kept hitting something which I believe was the tumour (he got mum to have a go at blowing her nose, but the blockage didn't move at all), and the attempt looked like it hurt an awful lot (judging by the way mum gripped my hand). It went fine up the right nostril, and appeared to hurt mum much less.

He appeared rather concerned and disappeared for a bit to arrange some things, and then came back to his office to make calls to further arrange things while we were in there. It amused me to hear him sweet talking nurses in much the same way I sweet talk people when I need something.

Anyway, he'd thought that the tumour needed biopsying asap and managed to squeeze mum into his Monday morning list for a biopsy under a general anaesthetic. The rest of the time at the hospital involved heading to the day surgery ward to get pre-admitted and see an anaesthetist (though not the one who'll be doing mum tomorrow) to be checked anaesthetic wise. Was informed that the major risk is that it doesn't stop bleeding after the biopsy is taken and if that happens her nose (through which the biopsy is being taken) will be packed and she'll be sent from Mayday (in Croydon, where all the appointments so far have been, and where the biopsy will be done tomorrow) to St Georges (in Tooting) to be admitted. Really hope that won't happen, but am pondering putting a bag of jammies and washing supplies in the car tomorrow morning just in case, in the hope being prepared will ward off problems.

The follow up to the biopsy will be at St Georges, where the doctor is actually based. He told us how to get there by public transport as he explained that the parking situation (and traffic on the way) is pretty bad, even for him. It was good of him to explain the transport options but I really don't think that mum is up to public transport at the moment. She had a turn while at Mayday on Friday and needed a wheelchair to get her out to the car again. Managed to sort out alternative arrangements that don't involve public transport, thankfully. My auntie and uncle live very very close (a mile or so) to St Georges, and my auntie has worked there (and still volunteers there) so we'll be parking the car at their house and my uncle will drop us off and pick us up, avoiding, hopefully, the parking problems at the hospital without exhausting mum.

All told, it looks like we'll know by Thursday afternoon what the tumour is and some sort of prognosis. The doctor on Friday didn't tell us at all about the MRI and what it showed, though I know he had the report in mum's file, but I know that between inital diagnosis of the tumour and now she is much much worse. Her left eye is completely non-functional, the huge nosebleeds every couple of weeks have evolved into a continuous drip/dribble of blood, she's almost deaf in her left ear and eating has become more of a challenge. Almost the entirety of the left hand side of her face is numb and tingly now, and the nausea and vomiting is worse. The anaesthetist we saw on Friday suggested mum start taking the anti sick pills at night as a matter of course to hopefully ward off the worst of it.

Off to Coulsdon again soon. We have to be at the hospital for 7:30 am tomorrow, which is quite unholy. I decided I'd rather sleep at mum's and get up early than sleep here and get up in what is essentially the middle of the night and drive there then. I think tomorrow will be quite long enough without starting at 4am. All the same, leaving here for Coulsdon is getting harder each week, though I'm not sure whether it's because I'm eating into my mood/spoons reserves each time I spend a week there, or because the situation is getting harder in itself.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (NCIS gibbs abby protection)
Got to Mayday for the hastily arranged ENT appointment about half an hour early and were seen immediately by the doctor. I can't say I was overly impressed with his bedside manner, though it improved some way into the appointment where we reached a mutual understanding. A little more on that further in.

To start with the doctor was very brisk, and wanted to know mum's history with this problem starting from the beginning which upset and frustrated her, so I'm not sure he got a complete picture. Then without any prep time at all went to stick a camera up her nose to see what was going on up there, which completely understandably completely upset mum. She started to cry and said that she hadn't expected that - which was fair as we were just told to be there, no details more than that - and the doctor got kind of frustrated and said that he'd only been handed the case the evening before and had squeezed us into his clinic as a favour to the Neurologist that mum had seen before and was seeing lots more patients in clinic today than he had timeslots for. I guess that explains why we got seen as soon as we got there rather than at a specific time. After we understood he was rushed and he understood mum was scared and uninformed about what the appointment would involve he became much better bedside manner wise. It's a shame it took tears and stuff to get to that point.

He had a go at getting the camera up mum's left nostril, but it didn't go very far as he kept hitting something which I believe was the tumour (he got mum to have a go at blowing her nose, but the blockage didn't move at all), and the attempt looked like it hurt an awful lot (judging by the way mum gripped my hand). It went fine up the right nostril, and appeared to hurt mum much less.

He appeared rather concerned and disappeared for a bit to arrange some things, and then came back to his office to make calls to further arrange things while we were in there. It amused me to hear him sweet talking nurses in much the same way I sweet talk people when I need something.

Anyway, he'd thought that the tumour needed biopsying asap and managed to squeeze mum into his Monday morning list for a biopsy under a general anaesthetic. The rest of the time at the hospital involved heading to the day surgery ward to get pre-admitted and see an anaesthetist (though not the one who'll be doing mum tomorrow) to be checked anaesthetic wise. Was informed that the major risk is that it doesn't stop bleeding after the biopsy is taken and if that happens her nose (through which the biopsy is being taken) will be packed and she'll be sent from Mayday (in Croydon, where all the appointments so far have been, and where the biopsy will be done tomorrow) to St Georges (in Tooting) to be admitted. Really hope that won't happen, but am pondering putting a bag of jammies and washing supplies in the car tomorrow morning just in case, in the hope being prepared will ward off problems.

The follow up to the biopsy will be at St Georges, where the doctor is actually based. He told us how to get there by public transport as he explained that the parking situation (and traffic on the way) is pretty bad, even for him. It was good of him to explain the transport options but I really don't think that mum is up to public transport at the moment. She had a turn while at Mayday on Friday and needed a wheelchair to get her out to the car again. Managed to sort out alternative arrangements that don't involve public transport, thankfully. My auntie and uncle live very very close (a mile or so) to St Georges, and my auntie has worked there (and still volunteers there) so we'll be parking the car at their house and my uncle will drop us off and pick us up, avoiding, hopefully, the parking problems at the hospital without exhausting mum.

All told, it looks like we'll know by Thursday afternoon what the tumour is and some sort of prognosis. The doctor on Friday didn't tell us at all about the MRI and what it showed, though I know he had the report in mum's file, but I know that between inital diagnosis of the tumour and now she is much much worse. Her left eye is completely non-functional, the huge nosebleeds every couple of weeks have evolved into a continuous drip/dribble of blood, she's almost deaf in her left ear and eating has become more of a challenge. Almost the entirety of the left hand side of her face is numb and tingly now, and the nausea and vomiting is worse. The anaesthetist we saw on Friday suggested mum start taking the anti sick pills at night as a matter of course to hopefully ward off the worst of it.

Off to Coulsdon again soon. We have to be at the hospital for 7:30 am tomorrow, which is quite unholy. I decided I'd rather sleep at mum's and get up early than sleep here and get up in what is essentially the middle of the night and drive there then. I think tomorrow will be quite long enough without starting at 4am. All the same, leaving here for Coulsdon is getting harder each week, though I'm not sure whether it's because I'm eating into my mood/spoons reserves each time I spend a week there, or because the situation is getting harder in itself.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (NCIS gibbs abby protection)
Got to Mayday for the hastily arranged ENT appointment about half an hour early and were seen immediately by the doctor. I can't say I was overly impressed with his bedside manner, though it improved some way into the appointment where we reached a mutual understanding. A little more on that further in.

To start with the doctor was very brisk, and wanted to know mum's history with this problem starting from the beginning which upset and frustrated her, so I'm not sure he got a complete picture. Then without any prep time at all went to stick a camera up her nose to see what was going on up there, which completely understandably completely upset mum. She started to cry and said that she hadn't expected that - which was fair as we were just told to be there, no details more than that - and the doctor got kind of frustrated and said that he'd only been handed the case the evening before and had squeezed us into his clinic as a favour to the Neurologist that mum had seen before and was seeing lots more patients in clinic today than he had timeslots for. I guess that explains why we got seen as soon as we got there rather than at a specific time. After we understood he was rushed and he understood mum was scared and uninformed about what the appointment would involve he became much better bedside manner wise. It's a shame it took tears and stuff to get to that point.

He had a go at getting the camera up mum's left nostril, but it didn't go very far as he kept hitting something which I believe was the tumour (he got mum to have a go at blowing her nose, but the blockage didn't move at all), and the attempt looked like it hurt an awful lot (judging by the way mum gripped my hand). It went fine up the right nostril, and appeared to hurt mum much less.

He appeared rather concerned and disappeared for a bit to arrange some things, and then came back to his office to make calls to further arrange things while we were in there. It amused me to hear him sweet talking nurses in much the same way I sweet talk people when I need something.

Anyway, he'd thought that the tumour needed biopsying asap and managed to squeeze mum into his Monday morning list for a biopsy under a general anaesthetic. The rest of the time at the hospital involved heading to the day surgery ward to get pre-admitted and see an anaesthetist (though not the one who'll be doing mum tomorrow) to be checked anaesthetic wise. Was informed that the major risk is that it doesn't stop bleeding after the biopsy is taken and if that happens her nose (through which the biopsy is being taken) will be packed and she'll be sent from Mayday (in Croydon, where all the appointments so far have been, and where the biopsy will be done tomorrow) to St Georges (in Tooting) to be admitted. Really hope that won't happen, but am pondering putting a bag of jammies and washing supplies in the car tomorrow morning just in case, in the hope being prepared will ward off problems.

The follow up to the biopsy will be at St Georges, where the doctor is actually based. He told us how to get there by public transport as he explained that the parking situation (and traffic on the way) is pretty bad, even for him. It was good of him to explain the transport options but I really don't think that mum is up to public transport at the moment. She had a turn while at Mayday on Friday and needed a wheelchair to get her out to the car again. Managed to sort out alternative arrangements that don't involve public transport, thankfully. My auntie and uncle live very very close (a mile or so) to St Georges, and my auntie has worked there (and still volunteers there) so we'll be parking the car at their house and my uncle will drop us off and pick us up, avoiding, hopefully, the parking problems at the hospital without exhausting mum.

All told, it looks like we'll know by Thursday afternoon what the tumour is and some sort of prognosis. The doctor on Friday didn't tell us at all about the MRI and what it showed, though I know he had the report in mum's file, but I know that between inital diagnosis of the tumour and now she is much much worse. Her left eye is completely non-functional, the huge nosebleeds every couple of weeks have evolved into a continuous drip/dribble of blood, she's almost deaf in her left ear and eating has become more of a challenge. Almost the entirety of the left hand side of her face is numb and tingly now, and the nausea and vomiting is worse. The anaesthetist we saw on Friday suggested mum start taking the anti sick pills at night as a matter of course to hopefully ward off the worst of it.

Off to Coulsdon again soon. We have to be at the hospital for 7:30 am tomorrow, which is quite unholy. I decided I'd rather sleep at mum's and get up early than sleep here and get up in what is essentially the middle of the night and drive there then. I think tomorrow will be quite long enough without starting at 4am. All the same, leaving here for Coulsdon is getting harder each week, though I'm not sure whether it's because I'm eating into my mood/spoons reserves each time I spend a week there, or because the situation is getting harder in itself.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (animals - Tiptoes cat)
It's been a bad day for both mum and me today. She's had the nausea and vomiting and lack of energy that she's been getting frequently from what we now know is the tumour (though I don't know if it's the Primary, the Secondary or both making her like that), so she's spent most of the day asleep (and getting the sweats from the tramadol which the hospital gave her for the pain, which is just the crown on feeling crappy anyway, I would imagine).

On top of that, the hospital have yet to call and tell us when the MRI is going to be, so there's a fair bit of sitting around twiddling thumbs and I'm really struggling with that. When mum's downstairs, as she is a lot, because it's easier for her to breathe and whatnot when sitting in a comfy chair down there than in bed up here, she has the tv on to what she wants, and has the volume up fairly loud, so as a general rule I'm happier elsewhere. In addition, I want my own space very much and so because of all of these factors I've been hiding out in my room (who'd have thought that at 26 and married I would be saying that again?) most of today. I ache from sitting on a bed or a floor all day.

It's also Monday, so I'm furthest away from being home again, and even though it's a short week as far as being away from Ben is concerned, I miss him, and it feels like a very long time before I see him again. I miss our flat, I miss our gerbils, I miss home cooking, I miss our companionable silences.

I'm sorry for the whining, I truly am. I'm very low, mood-wise right now and I just need to vent before it gets too much.

On the upside, I did the computery part of a tesco order for mum (she told me what was needed and I did the typing and ordering of the things), so at least one good thing has been achieved today. And I just remembered that I also called about postal voting, so I suppose that's two. And hopefully tomorrow will be better.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (animals - Tiptoes cat)
It's been a bad day for both mum and me today. She's had the nausea and vomiting and lack of energy that she's been getting frequently from what we now know is the tumour (though I don't know if it's the Primary, the Secondary or both making her like that), so she's spent most of the day asleep (and getting the sweats from the tramadol which the hospital gave her for the pain, which is just the crown on feeling crappy anyway, I would imagine).

On top of that, the hospital have yet to call and tell us when the MRI is going to be, so there's a fair bit of sitting around twiddling thumbs and I'm really struggling with that. When mum's downstairs, as she is a lot, because it's easier for her to breathe and whatnot when sitting in a comfy chair down there than in bed up here, she has the tv on to what she wants, and has the volume up fairly loud, so as a general rule I'm happier elsewhere. In addition, I want my own space very much and so because of all of these factors I've been hiding out in my room (who'd have thought that at 26 and married I would be saying that again?) most of today. I ache from sitting on a bed or a floor all day.

It's also Monday, so I'm furthest away from being home again, and even though it's a short week as far as being away from Ben is concerned, I miss him, and it feels like a very long time before I see him again. I miss our flat, I miss our gerbils, I miss home cooking, I miss our companionable silences.

I'm sorry for the whining, I truly am. I'm very low, mood-wise right now and I just need to vent before it gets too much.

On the upside, I did the computery part of a tesco order for mum (she told me what was needed and I did the typing and ordering of the things), so at least one good thing has been achieved today. And I just remembered that I also called about postal voting, so I suppose that's two. And hopefully tomorrow will be better.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (animals - Tiptoes cat)
It's been a bad day for both mum and me today. She's had the nausea and vomiting and lack of energy that she's been getting frequently from what we now know is the tumour (though I don't know if it's the Primary, the Secondary or both making her like that), so she's spent most of the day asleep (and getting the sweats from the tramadol which the hospital gave her for the pain, which is just the crown on feeling crappy anyway, I would imagine).

On top of that, the hospital have yet to call and tell us when the MRI is going to be, so there's a fair bit of sitting around twiddling thumbs and I'm really struggling with that. When mum's downstairs, as she is a lot, because it's easier for her to breathe and whatnot when sitting in a comfy chair down there than in bed up here, she has the tv on to what she wants, and has the volume up fairly loud, so as a general rule I'm happier elsewhere. In addition, I want my own space very much and so because of all of these factors I've been hiding out in my room (who'd have thought that at 26 and married I would be saying that again?) most of today. I ache from sitting on a bed or a floor all day.

It's also Monday, so I'm furthest away from being home again, and even though it's a short week as far as being away from Ben is concerned, I miss him, and it feels like a very long time before I see him again. I miss our flat, I miss our gerbils, I miss home cooking, I miss our companionable silences.

I'm sorry for the whining, I truly am. I'm very low, mood-wise right now and I just need to vent before it gets too much.

On the upside, I did the computery part of a tesco order for mum (she told me what was needed and I did the typing and ordering of the things), so at least one good thing has been achieved today. And I just remembered that I also called about postal voting, so I suppose that's two. And hopefully tomorrow will be better.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (carebare grumpy sleeping)
The bed came at about 2:30pm and is now built and the room is looking vaguely welcoming, which is good, because next week I'll be sleeping in it for five nights.

Made it home through terrible weather at about 7ish. Was rather grumpy but so glad to be home. My home, with my things and my husband, who had even done my chores so I didn't have anything to do when I got in, which is something I'm more grateful for than I can even express right now.

I'm also incredibly grateful for my friends at the moment who have all been supportive in various ways and I don't know what I'd have done in the last few days without their help. Not having any friends in Croydon is actually one of the hardest things about spending a lot of time at mum's in the last few weeks, and the thing I'm going to really struggle with in the coming months if I continue what will start next week and spend 5 days at mum's and only 2(ish) at home.

I rely on my friends a lot for my sanity, and sometimes it really helps a lot if I can just go out for an afternoon or an evening with them, even if we don't necessarily talk about deep things. The only people I know in Coulsdon/Croydon now are my mum and brother, and it makes getting out more difficult. I'm very dull and find it difficult to be out on my own. I'd much rather have someone to have coffee with, or walk with or whatever. I'm not quite sure yet how I'll find a way around it.

Another thing I need to figure out sooner rather than later is how to make the room I'll be sleeping in a bit more my space and less stark spare room. Starting to wish I hadn't got rid of the posters I had before/during Uni. They'd be a start.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (carebare grumpy sleeping)
The bed came at about 2:30pm and is now built and the room is looking vaguely welcoming, which is good, because next week I'll be sleeping in it for five nights.

Made it home through terrible weather at about 7ish. Was rather grumpy but so glad to be home. My home, with my things and my husband, who had even done my chores so I didn't have anything to do when I got in, which is something I'm more grateful for than I can even express right now.

I'm also incredibly grateful for my friends at the moment who have all been supportive in various ways and I don't know what I'd have done in the last few days without their help. Not having any friends in Croydon is actually one of the hardest things about spending a lot of time at mum's in the last few weeks, and the thing I'm going to really struggle with in the coming months if I continue what will start next week and spend 5 days at mum's and only 2(ish) at home.

I rely on my friends a lot for my sanity, and sometimes it really helps a lot if I can just go out for an afternoon or an evening with them, even if we don't necessarily talk about deep things. The only people I know in Coulsdon/Croydon now are my mum and brother, and it makes getting out more difficult. I'm very dull and find it difficult to be out on my own. I'd much rather have someone to have coffee with, or walk with or whatever. I'm not quite sure yet how I'll find a way around it.

Another thing I need to figure out sooner rather than later is how to make the room I'll be sleeping in a bit more my space and less stark spare room. Starting to wish I hadn't got rid of the posters I had before/during Uni. They'd be a start.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (carebare grumpy sleeping)
The bed came at about 2:30pm and is now built and the room is looking vaguely welcoming, which is good, because next week I'll be sleeping in it for five nights.

Made it home through terrible weather at about 7ish. Was rather grumpy but so glad to be home. My home, with my things and my husband, who had even done my chores so I didn't have anything to do when I got in, which is something I'm more grateful for than I can even express right now.

I'm also incredibly grateful for my friends at the moment who have all been supportive in various ways and I don't know what I'd have done in the last few days without their help. Not having any friends in Croydon is actually one of the hardest things about spending a lot of time at mum's in the last few weeks, and the thing I'm going to really struggle with in the coming months if I continue what will start next week and spend 5 days at mum's and only 2(ish) at home.

I rely on my friends a lot for my sanity, and sometimes it really helps a lot if I can just go out for an afternoon or an evening with them, even if we don't necessarily talk about deep things. The only people I know in Coulsdon/Croydon now are my mum and brother, and it makes getting out more difficult. I'm very dull and find it difficult to be out on my own. I'd much rather have someone to have coffee with, or walk with or whatever. I'm not quite sure yet how I'll find a way around it.

Another thing I need to figure out sooner rather than later is how to make the room I'll be sleeping in a bit more my space and less stark spare room. Starting to wish I hadn't got rid of the posters I had before/during Uni. They'd be a start.

ETA: 12/07/11 No longer filtered
lizziec: (apod - milky-way eating)
I suppose, really, that I should have taken photos of each stage of this, because it was a mammoth undertaking. I didn't though, so you'll all have to put up with boring old text :)

When we first moved in to our flat, Ben's parents very kindly gave us an old sofa of theirs. It was leather and a little worn, but basically sound, very comfy and, most importantly as we had no money after buying essentials like a fridge freezer, was free.

Cut to four and a half years later, and the sofa was rather a lot worse for wear. The leather had cracked in the seats, and so was held together from the inside with duct tape. One of the struts had gone, so it was saggy and the lining under the cushions had split open so stuff kept falling right down. Basically it was on borrowed time before it completely disintegrated and we knew it.

With that in mind, we went Sofa shopping, and after much deliberation, we found one we liked at Harveys (the three seater "Clarissa") and having measured our hall, our old sofa and the new one, we were certain we could fit it in. The dimensions were all within a couple of centimetres. So we ordered it, we paid for it and we waited 4-6 weeks for it to be delivered.

And right now I'm so unbelievably pissed off because I finished writing this, only to lose it because LJ logged me out and I'm an idiot who didn't copy paste it before logging back in so LJ *helpfully* restored the last saved draft which involved losing over three quarters of what I had already written. So the rest of this is a rewrite of what I've already done once and my heart isn't really in it.

So four to six weeks later we moved everything in the flat around so that we could fit the new sofa in. This was no mean feat, because our flat has been full to bursting for the last two years or so and we've just been coming up with ever more inventive ways to fit things in. This particular moving of stuff involved taking everything out of the hall - two bookcases full of books, computers and assorted internet paraphernalia, coats and shoes, printer, ironing board and clothes horse, fan... No, our hall is not some sort of Tardis, just very packed ;) It also involved moving two bookcases full of books and another two cd racks from the living room so that the doorway was clear. For the record, 3 of the bookcases ended up in the bedroom where they now form a sort of library ;) The CD towers are still there as well. The layout made enough sense that we decided not to move the stuff back.

Anyway, after lots of hard work to clear a path, we then had to get the old sofa out (which we did and put it safely in the garage for a couple of days) so we could get the new one in. I arranged for it to be picked up by the Council, who did so on the morning of our next rubbish collection, which was handily on the morning the new sofa was being delivered. I think that by the title, and this statement, most of you can guess that what happened next was not straightforward. Really I should have known better than to arrange for our old sofa to go before we had the new one safe and sound in our living room. Alas. I am an idiot who bites her thumb at the fates ;)

The sofa delivery men arrived about an hour or so after the council men had come to get the old sofa. They came up to see what obstacles were in their way and the first and clearly senior man declared that the new sofa would not fit. We had measured everything and were convinced he was wrong, so he brought up the sofa to prove it. And he was right. We had the sofa men try getting it in several ways. We tried getting it in several ways. There was no getting around the fact that this shiny new sofa just would not fit. The problem lay in two places. First, we have a funny corner you have to get around to get into the living room, and this prevented us lying it down horizontally and sliding it through the door that way, and it was too high to get in vertically. Secondly, although this sofa was more or less the same size as the old one the edges are all hard, whereas they were squishy on the old one, so they squished to get round awkward things. There was literally no more than 2cm between us and the sofa getting through the door into the space where it would certainly fit.

The delivery men suggested two possible solutions. Option A involved them leaving the sofa with us and (they suggested) swapping our bedroom with our living room. Ben and I quickly realised that that plan was a no-go for a number of reasons. Option B was that they took the sofa with them back to Harveys. Option B was at this point looking the most palatable, so Ben called Harveys to see what they could offer us if we chose to do that. I say he called - he had to, because I was having a freak out (hysterical tears) by this point, convinced that it was all my fault because I'd taken the initial measurements, and that I could never have nice things and I never would again because I'd messed the sofa business up so badly. I think that this is probably an example of what my old Mental Health Nurse would have called "Catastrophic Thinking".

Anyway, Ben called Harveys and they told us they could give us 50% of what we paid for the sofa if we returned it because making it fit was our responsibility and if it didn't they weren't actually obliged to give us anything. They said that they would then take a £50 charge out of the store credit to cover the cost of bringing the sofa back from our flat, where it was currently vertical on one end in the hall, and then when we picked a new sofa they'd take another £50 for delivering a new one. Basically, when all was said and done, we were looking at getting nothing back and essentially losing all the money that we had paid for the perfectly good sofa in our hall.

After this call, we decided to pick Option C, which was to keep the thing and figure out something. And Ben had the beginnings of a Very Cunning Plan.

The shiny Sofa sat in our hall for the best part of a week while Ben gathered his plans and tools. This involved borrowing a Jigsaw (the power tool, not the puzzle) from dmc, buying lots of supplies from toolstation, and an electric screwdriver from B&Q. Finally, his plan was ready to be put in to action, and to be honest, it scared me rather a lot, but I'd been sitting on a beanbag whenever I was in the living room for the best part of week by this time and ready for drastic action that could have ended with severed fingers.

It turns out that the new sofa basically has a box made of MDF or chipboard or something at each end where the arms are, which aren't structural. So Ben picked the staples out of the fabric at the bottom of the sofa at one end, which was pretty difficult because the staples are cheap and kept breaking, then peeled the fabric back ([Edit] Ben says this staple remover deserves an honourable mention in this story. Possibly because he couldn't have managed the staples without it. Anyway, if you need a staple remover, that one is awesome, apparently).

Next he used the jigsaw to cut the box about half way down (this was higher than Ben is tall, and where the plan could have ended with severed fingers as he was jigsawing above his head, and possibly the scariest thing I have ever witnessed), we slid it into the living room as it now fitted under the door easily being about half a foot shorter than it had been previously and then Ben put the end back together with mending plates. It took forever. There is literally barely a millimetre of the join that is not covered by one mending plate or another. After this was done, he pulled the fabric back over the end and stapled it down again. Apart from the alarming creaking noise it made the first time it was sat on, it's not moved or made a noise since, and we've now been using it for 4 months or so. Ben thinks it may be stronger now with all the mending plates than it was before.

Regardless, it's now in, and not being moved again until we move. What we'll do then, I don't know. Possibly the procedure in reverse, or maybe leaving it for the removal company to try and get it out while scratching our heads and sounding bewildered that it doesn't fit given it went in.

I tell this story largely as a cautionary tale to anyone even considering new furniture. Measure, measure, measure. And that there is usually a Plan C, even were one doesn't appear to be readily available.


The sofa in situ


When I lost this entry, I got a case of the fuckits and considered giving up. I went and washed up instead and I'm glad I re-wrote it. I got into the swing again, and I think it was worth it.

lizziec: (toys - max at work)
On Friday there was some interesting post and for a change it was all for me! Usually all the postie brings me is bills and bank statements, but today I got a much better haul, which inserted some excitement my usually predictable days.





First up was the TV Licence (excellent value for money IMO). Ok, so it's not very exciting, but it was part of my haul, so I included it for completeness' sake. What that TV Licence does mean is that it is coming up for four years since we moved in to our flat and had a "putting Ikea furniture together and watching Eurovision" party (pics of that here, here and here). It really doesn't seem like that long. It's also worth saying that there is nowhere near that much space in our flat any more!



Next up was my Graze Box, which was supposed to arrive on Thursday, but got stuck in the post somewhere and actually turned up on Friday instead. It was yummy - especially the fresh apple, which appeared not to have suffered from being in the post an extra day :) If you want a free first box and half price second box (you can easily cancel after the free one has turned up), then go to graze.com and enter the following code: QV67PBDC.



Last in the stack of post, a set of 15 War films given away in editions of the Daily Mail a month or so ago. Huge thanks to [livejournal.com profile] no1typo, who sullied her bank account and house by buying the paper and sending off for the films. They arrived on Friday, with the rest of my exciting post and I don't own most of them. I'm looking forward to settling down and watching them over the next few weeks :)



Finally for this post, I took the above today of my favourite bear Max posing with [livejournal.com profile] benc's eee 900A. I've made an icon out of it :) All of the pictures are here. Sometimes I think I have too much time on my hands ;)

EDIT: On the theme of geekiness, my new laptop should hopefully be showing up on Tuesday. If you've not voted in my name poll, I'd appreciate it if you would :)
lizziec: (toys - max at work)
On Friday there was some interesting post and for a change it was all for me! Usually all the postie brings me is bills and bank statements, but today I got a much better haul, which inserted some excitement my usually predictable days.





First up was the TV Licence (excellent value for money IMO). Ok, so it's not very exciting, but it was part of my haul, so I included it for completeness' sake. What that TV Licence does mean is that it is coming up for four years since we moved in to our flat and had a "putting Ikea furniture together and watching Eurovision" party (pics of that here, here and here). It really doesn't seem like that long. It's also worth saying that there is nowhere near that much space in our flat any more!



Next up was my Graze Box, which was supposed to arrive on Thursday, but got stuck in the post somewhere and actually turned up on Friday instead. It was yummy - especially the fresh apple, which appeared not to have suffered from being in the post an extra day :) If you want a free first box and half price second box (you can easily cancel after the free one has turned up), then go to graze.com and enter the following code: QV67PBDC.



Last in the stack of post, a set of 15 War films given away in editions of the Daily Mail a month or so ago. Huge thanks to [livejournal.com profile] no1typo, who sullied her bank account and house by buying the paper and sending off for the films. They arrived on Friday, with the rest of my exciting post and I don't own most of them. I'm looking forward to settling down and watching them over the next few weeks :)



Finally for this post, I took the above today of my favourite bear Max posing with [livejournal.com profile] benc's eee 900A. I've made an icon out of it :) All of the pictures are here. Sometimes I think I have too much time on my hands ;)

EDIT: On the theme of geekiness, my new laptop should hopefully be showing up on Tuesday. If you've not voted in my name poll, I'd appreciate it if you would :)
lizziec: (toys - max at work)
On Friday there was some interesting post and for a change it was all for me! Usually all the postie brings me is bills and bank statements, but today I got a much better haul, which inserted some excitement my usually predictable days.





First up was the TV Licence (excellent value for money IMO). Ok, so it's not very exciting, but it was part of my haul, so I included it for completeness' sake. What that TV Licence does mean is that it is coming up for four years since we moved in to our flat and had a "putting Ikea furniture together and watching Eurovision" party (pics of that here, here and here). It really doesn't seem like that long. It's also worth saying that there is nowhere near that much space in our flat any more!



Next up was my Graze Box, which was supposed to arrive on Thursday, but got stuck in the post somewhere and actually turned up on Friday instead. It was yummy - especially the fresh apple, which appeared not to have suffered from being in the post an extra day :) If you want a free first box and half price second box (you can easily cancel after the free one has turned up), then go to graze.com and enter the following code: QV67PBDC.



Last in the stack of post, a set of 15 War films given away in editions of the Daily Mail a month or so ago. Huge thanks to [livejournal.com profile] no1typo, who sullied her bank account and house by buying the paper and sending off for the films. They arrived on Friday, with the rest of my exciting post and I don't own most of them. I'm looking forward to settling down and watching them over the next few weeks :)



Finally for this post, I took the above today of my favourite bear Max posing with [livejournal.com profile] benc's eee 900A. I've made an icon out of it :) All of the pictures are here. Sometimes I think I have too much time on my hands ;)

EDIT: On the theme of geekiness, my new laptop should hopefully be showing up on Tuesday. If you've not voted in my name poll, I'd appreciate it if you would :)
lizziec: (animals - bunny!)
A quiz, stolen from [livejournal.com profile] bethanthepurple

1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top ten results.

1. Anthropologist
2. Archivist
3. Historian
4. Child and Youth Worker
5. Adoption Counselor
6. Writer
7. Print Journalist
8. Critic
9. Market Research Analyst
10. Translator


In other news, the flat inspection went fine and we still have a home. It's even a very clean home, the cleanest it's been (imo) since we moved in 2.5 years ago. I'm glad it's over because it was a real strain on me. Having spent all the time since we returned from holiday stressing and angsting over it often while cleaning as I have never cleaned before and only not doing those things when I've been asleep I am now very very relieved but also incredibly tired, which I think is mainly due to the depression. [livejournal.com profile] no1typo is coming for a visit tomorrow and I'm looking forward to a relaxing wander around Canterbury or an afternoon spent in Espression with her, depending on time factors and the weather.
lizziec: (animals - duckling-bum)
As I mentioned in my last entry we went on holiday to Skegness/Chapel St. Leonards for a week in a fixed site caravan. We had a lovely time and selected photos are here and some different ones here. All photos were taken by [livejournal.com profile] benc (I was taking black and white pictures on a film camera which have yet to be developed).

We did a fair bunch of stuff, though it was all sadly rather curtailed because the effects of my depression are such that after doing something for 3 or 4 hours I was so tired I had to come home and sleep. One of the things that we did that isn't in pictures is we drove an hour and a half to Stamford so we could see The Dam Busters (which had been cleaned up a little) on the big screen. Well worth it :D though I was dead almost all of the next day.

When we went to Skegness we saw the Skegness lifeboat with its awesome tractor which pulls it down the beach to the sea and pulls it back out again:


It was sooooo cool :D

I won a zippy toy at the "Hook a Duck" stall on Skegness pier and he "did" Skegness:


In Chapel St. Leonards we found possibly the most offensive building in all of the UK, the Golden Palm:


The pictures don't do it justice - the palm trees *flashed*. The shopping arcade owned by the Golden Palm also produced the worst curry I have ever had - sauce like water, sweetened with sugar and chicken so dry it had probably been sitting under lights for hours. The curry places around Skegness were all very special. None of the ones near to us did "Curry". They all did Curry/Kebabs/Pizzas/Burgers. Really we should have known better than to buy from there.

On our last day we went to the beach, as it was the only day really nice enough for it.

I buried Ben:


We worked on a sandcastle:


Which had a working moat :D


Thus, our work was done:

(Mine is the blue spade).

Finally, ben brought me a giant Eeyore for an anniversary present:

He's pretty awesome :)

Today I have called the Job Centre plus in an effort to apply for Incapacity benefit as advised to me by Payroll at UKC. It seems very complicated and I have no idea if I'll be eligable but I don't loose anything by applying. I have also been abusing the BBCs archive trial and now have about 12 tabs of things to watch. Ah well, will keep me busy!

And finally, the reason I chose the icon I did: we got back from holiday to a letter from our Letting Agency saying they'll be coming to inspect the flat for the first time in two years on Thursday. It's a routine inspection but I'm bricking it and utterly convinced we'll be evicted despite saner voices telling me I'm being a muppet. I'm sure on Thursday I'll be able to come back and tell you all that they were right. Until then I suspect I'll be a bit of a nervous heap.
lizziec: (Default)
Having *finally* got an ADSL connection (albeit a very flaky one) at 6mc I have uploaded all the pictures that were waiting :)

Ph33r :P

You remember the story of me getting in contact with an old friend? Well the 29th May was her birthday so I toodled along to her house for the party. I had a lovely time, especially making use of the trampoline :P Piccies of that event (including me on the trampoline here.

My last shift with the children was on Friday morning and I got some of the most fun and beautiful presents I could ever have wished for. I got a bear and a thing full of hot chocolate and a game for two to play in the bath >:) The cards and letters were the worst though. I didn't cry when I was there but I came back home and *howled* about it all. PIctures of almost everything (including becky's letter which is by far the worst) are here.

My results were posted on the boards at the back of the library at 5pm on Friday. I swore I would not be involved in the scrum that ensues once the humanities guy turns up with the lists, but after a little encouragement from ben, there I was, right in the middle. I went back yesterday to preserve the result for posterity ;) I'm glad I won't have to do *that* wait ever again!

Samphire Hoe is where Ben and I went after I got my degree results. I was so full of nervous energy the walk did me good. It was really beautiful though Ben suffered because of the high concentration of pollen there. Well worth a visit. For more info see this.

Finally, yesterday I got round to setting up aragorn despite the lack of desk... Aragorn's new home is perched on top of two Dell boxes and another computer - see this picture for how unstable the whole arrangement actually looks ;)

Ok - all piccies done now - have a look, especially at the Samphire Hoe ones :)

*bumbles off*

Edit: I forgot to mention the lovely rainbow I saw a few days ago :) Go look! :D
lizziec: (Default)
Having *finally* got an ADSL connection (albeit a very flaky one) at 6mc I have uploaded all the pictures that were waiting :)

Ph33r :P

You remember the story of me getting in contact with an old friend? Well the 29th May was her birthday so I toodled along to her house for the party. I had a lovely time, especially making use of the trampoline :P Piccies of that event (including me on the trampoline here.

My last shift with the children was on Friday morning and I got some of the most fun and beautiful presents I could ever have wished for. I got a bear and a thing full of hot chocolate and a game for two to play in the bath >:) The cards and letters were the worst though. I didn't cry when I was there but I came back home and *howled* about it all. PIctures of almost everything (including becky's letter which is by far the worst) are here.

My results were posted on the boards at the back of the library at 5pm on Friday. I swore I would not be involved in the scrum that ensues once the humanities guy turns up with the lists, but after a little encouragement from ben, there I was, right in the middle. I went back yesterday to preserve the result for posterity ;) I'm glad I won't have to do *that* wait ever again!

Samphire Hoe is where Ben and I went after I got my degree results. I was so full of nervous energy the walk did me good. It was really beautiful though Ben suffered because of the high concentration of pollen there. Well worth a visit. For more info see this.

Finally, yesterday I got round to setting up aragorn despite the lack of desk... Aragorn's new home is perched on top of two Dell boxes and another computer - see this picture for how unstable the whole arrangement actually looks ;)

Ok - all piccies done now - have a look, especially at the Samphire Hoe ones :)

*bumbles off*

Edit: I forgot to mention the lovely rainbow I saw a few days ago :) Go look! :D
lizziec: (Default)
Having *finally* got an ADSL connection (albeit a very flaky one) at 6mc I have uploaded all the pictures that were waiting :)

Ph33r :P

You remember the story of me getting in contact with an old friend? Well the 29th May was her birthday so I toodled along to her house for the party. I had a lovely time, especially making use of the trampoline :P Piccies of that event (including me on the trampoline here.

My last shift with the children was on Friday morning and I got some of the most fun and beautiful presents I could ever have wished for. I got a bear and a thing full of hot chocolate and a game for two to play in the bath >:) The cards and letters were the worst though. I didn't cry when I was there but I came back home and *howled* about it all. PIctures of almost everything (including becky's letter which is by far the worst) are here.

My results were posted on the boards at the back of the library at 5pm on Friday. I swore I would not be involved in the scrum that ensues once the humanities guy turns up with the lists, but after a little encouragement from ben, there I was, right in the middle. I went back yesterday to preserve the result for posterity ;) I'm glad I won't have to do *that* wait ever again!

Samphire Hoe is where Ben and I went after I got my degree results. I was so full of nervous energy the walk did me good. It was really beautiful though Ben suffered because of the high concentration of pollen there. Well worth a visit. For more info see this.

Finally, yesterday I got round to setting up aragorn despite the lack of desk... Aragorn's new home is perched on top of two Dell boxes and another computer - see this picture for how unstable the whole arrangement actually looks ;)

Ok - all piccies done now - have a look, especially at the Samphire Hoe ones :)

*bumbles off*

Edit: I forgot to mention the lovely rainbow I saw a few days ago :) Go look! :D

Stuff

7 June 2005 11:10 am
lizziec: (Default)
Wedding list now done and with debenhams. It's list number 19489 :D Spending virtual money scary :(

Fridge freezer and washer dryer now arrived which is excellent :D Cold milk is *wonderful*

Also have a sofa :D

Flat coming together nicely now :))

I would be happy if it wasn't for the impending doom of friday :'(

meh.

Stuff

7 June 2005 11:10 am
lizziec: (Default)
Wedding list now done and with debenhams. It's list number 19489 :D Spending virtual money scary :(

Fridge freezer and washer dryer now arrived which is excellent :D Cold milk is *wonderful*

Also have a sofa :D

Flat coming together nicely now :))

I would be happy if it wasn't for the impending doom of friday :'(

meh.

Stuff

7 June 2005 11:10 am
lizziec: (Default)
Wedding list now done and with debenhams. It's list number 19489 :D Spending virtual money scary :(

Fridge freezer and washer dryer now arrived which is excellent :D Cold milk is *wonderful*

Also have a sofa :D

Flat coming together nicely now :))

I would be happy if it wasn't for the impending doom of friday :'(

meh.
lizziec: (Default)
Many things to write about :)

Firstly, Ben and I have moved into the flat (yay!) and will be finally getting White Goods (fridge freezer and washer dryer) on Monday \o/ - you don't realise how fantastic the invention of the fridge was until you are stuck in the middle of summer (well almost the middle of summer :P) without one ;) I'd put the fridge right up there with Central Heating.

Housewarming soon (promise!) and address and phone number in privated entry to follow this ;))

Secondly, I have been contacted by the National Blood Service Bone Marrow Register because, apparently, I am a preliminary match with someone. This was quite a surprise to me ;) I'm going along to St Georges Hospital, Tooting on the 13th of June to have another blood test. If everything checks out there then I will be donating some of my bone marrow to someone who needs it.

Just thinking about it makes me go all squishy!

The letter )

Thirdly, the unveiling of the "Deep Throat" who revealed the involvement of Nixon in Watergate has taken place. This is also something that has made me kinda fuzzy inside. This is always something I remember mum being interested in, and I think I see why. I see it as a defining moment in American politics. It's good to see the person taking the credit he deserves.

Finally...

A Meme! )
lizziec: (Default)
Many things to write about :)

Firstly, Ben and I have moved into the flat (yay!) and will be finally getting White Goods (fridge freezer and washer dryer) on Monday \o/ - you don't realise how fantastic the invention of the fridge was until you are stuck in the middle of summer (well almost the middle of summer :P) without one ;) I'd put the fridge right up there with Central Heating.

Housewarming soon (promise!) and address and phone number in privated entry to follow this ;))

Secondly, I have been contacted by the National Blood Service Bone Marrow Register because, apparently, I am a preliminary match with someone. This was quite a surprise to me ;) I'm going along to St Georges Hospital, Tooting on the 13th of June to have another blood test. If everything checks out there then I will be donating some of my bone marrow to someone who needs it.

Just thinking about it makes me go all squishy!

The letter )

Thirdly, the unveiling of the "Deep Throat" who revealed the involvement of Nixon in Watergate has taken place. This is also something that has made me kinda fuzzy inside. This is always something I remember mum being interested in, and I think I see why. I see it as a defining moment in American politics. It's good to see the person taking the credit he deserves.

Finally...

A Meme! )
lizziec: (Default)
Many things to write about :)

Firstly, Ben and I have moved into the flat (yay!) and will be finally getting White Goods (fridge freezer and washer dryer) on Monday \o/ - you don't realise how fantastic the invention of the fridge was until you are stuck in the middle of summer (well almost the middle of summer :P) without one ;) I'd put the fridge right up there with Central Heating.

Housewarming soon (promise!) and address and phone number in privated entry to follow this ;))

Secondly, I have been contacted by the National Blood Service Bone Marrow Register because, apparently, I am a preliminary match with someone. This was quite a surprise to me ;) I'm going along to St Georges Hospital, Tooting on the 13th of June to have another blood test. If everything checks out there then I will be donating some of my bone marrow to someone who needs it.

Just thinking about it makes me go all squishy!

The letter )

Thirdly, the unveiling of the "Deep Throat" who revealed the involvement of Nixon in Watergate has taken place. This is also something that has made me kinda fuzzy inside. This is always something I remember mum being interested in, and I think I see why. I see it as a defining moment in American politics. It's good to see the person taking the credit he deserves.

Finally...

A Meme! )
lizziec: (Default)
Ben and I now have a place to live and have actually moved in! W00t. Housewarming at some point soonish ;)

*dances and goes to pack more stuff*
lizziec: (Default)
Ben and I now have a place to live and have actually moved in! W00t. Housewarming at some point soonish ;)

*dances and goes to pack more stuff*
lizziec: (Default)
Ben and I now have a place to live and have actually moved in! W00t. Housewarming at some point soonish ;)

*dances and goes to pack more stuff*
lizziec: (Default)
I have written a page which just details small things ben and I will need for new place. It is here for anyone who wants to look. We're not looking for brand new stuff here, just things to tide us over till we get married and thus get things from wedding list ;)

If you have stuff like this you no longer need and isn't too manky(!) then by all means donate it ;) If you don't please do not go out and buy it :P

That link again: Stuff ben and I need for new flat.

We're in no rush yet. Will be at least two weeks before we can move :)
lizziec: (Default)
I have written a page which just details small things ben and I will need for new place. It is here for anyone who wants to look. We're not looking for brand new stuff here, just things to tide us over till we get married and thus get things from wedding list ;)

If you have stuff like this you no longer need and isn't too manky(!) then by all means donate it ;) If you don't please do not go out and buy it :P

That link again: Stuff ben and I need for new flat.

We're in no rush yet. Will be at least two weeks before we can move :)
lizziec: (Default)
I have written a page which just details small things ben and I will need for new place. It is here for anyone who wants to look. We're not looking for brand new stuff here, just things to tide us over till we get married and thus get things from wedding list ;)

If you have stuff like this you no longer need and isn't too manky(!) then by all means donate it ;) If you don't please do not go out and buy it :P

That link again: Stuff ben and I need for new flat.

We're in no rush yet. Will be at least two weeks before we can move :)
lizziec: (Default)
Pending good references ben and I have a place to live next year :D

It is here, so within a good distance of the uni and my work :D

Piccies here.

Yay :D

List of things we will need for completely unfurnished place to follow ;)
lizziec: (Default)
Pending good references ben and I have a place to live next year :D

It is here, so within a good distance of the uni and my work :D

Piccies here.

Yay :D

List of things we will need for completely unfurnished place to follow ;)
lizziec: (Default)
Pending good references ben and I have a place to live next year :D

It is here, so within a good distance of the uni and my work :D

Piccies here.

Yay :D

List of things we will need for completely unfurnished place to follow ;)

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